There once was a man from Peru
He fell asleep in a canoe
He was holding his penis
While dreaming of Venus
And woke up with a handful of goo
There were other versions too…anyone have anything similar
On top of old Smokey
All covered in blood
I found my poor wolfman
His face in the mud
A knife in his belly
An axe in his head
I jumped to conclusions
My wolfman was dead
I sat with the Duchess at tea
She asked: “Do you fart when you pee?”
I answered with wit: “Do you belch when you shit?”
And I thought it was One-Up for me!
Great green globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Dirty little birdie feet
Great green globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts
And me without my spoon
(To the tune of I’m Looking Over a Four Leaf Clover)
I’m looking over my dead dog Rover
Who lies on the kitchen floor
One leg is broken,
Another one sprained.
I ran him over
With my Cocoa Puffs train !
Strangers in the night
Exchanging rubbers
This one is too tight
I’ll try another
This one is too loose
But it will hold the juice
Never heard a “wolfman” version before.
There were lots of variations (almost all involving a teacher), but the version I remember went something like this:
On top of Old Smokey
All covered with blood
I shot my poor teacher
with a .44 slug
And then the next morning
she wasn’t quite dead
So I took my bazooka
and blew off her head
I went to her funeral
To spit on her grave
Some people threw flowers
I threw a grenade
Another school one:
My eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school
We have tortured all the teachers we have broken all the rules
And tomorrow after school we’re going to hang the principle
The school is burning down.
Glory, glory, hallelujah
Teacher hit me with a ruler
So I nailed her at her door with a smoking .44
And she ain’t my teacher no more
The above was just one of many anti-school rhymes from my youth.
[Bandit Heeler]
It was the 80’s…
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