During an extremely ill-advised vacation trip to Central America, you get kidnapped by crooks who intend to hold you for ransom. Upon learning that your family’s liquid assets are only in the five figures, they decide to recoup their expenses by selling off your liver, kidneys, and other internal organs. For that they need a surgeon, and they leave you alone in a locked room while they wait for the guy. You manage to extricate yourself from your bonds, but the only exit takes you past a dozen guys with guns, and the nearest thing you have to a weapon is an empty package of Tic-Tacx. The bad guys have your hypertime cell phone, but fortunately you have an emergency backup built into your left shoe, so you call your friends at Rhymer Enterprises. The following conversation occurs:
Send The Cavalry, but don’t call her that. Or better yet, tell her the bad guys guarding me called her that. Several times. Even though I explained that Agent May really doesn’t like it when you call her that.
In the first place, in the middle of a sentence it’s “the Cavalry,” not “The Cavalry.”
In the second place, if you’re in a position to call May anything to her face, she’s already killed the bad guys anyway, so why bring it up at all?
In the third place, if you don’t think May is going to kill the bad guys, you’re high.
In the fourth place, why would you have told the bad guys that May was coming in the first place? You should think about that, because she’s certainly going to ask you.
I’d have to go with Wonder Woman, she’s the only one with a method for dealing with bullets. I’ve often wondered why the vampires in Sunnyvale didn’t buy a gun.
Wonder Woman, mos def. I want to see her in her satin tights (and her swimsuit, and her skateboarding outfit, and her at the country singer’s concert outfit…) fighting for my rights, and the old red white and blue.
And though her strength level in that era is outclassed by current Wonder Woman (is she still as strong as she was after Crisis? I haven’t read any Post 52), she’s strong enough to take care of business and stronger than Buffy or Agent May. For Xena strength level may be even but WW has an understanding of modern Earth which would eliminate any of the “An iron horse? How peculiar!” stuff that we’d get from the Warrior Princess.
Pushed to choose from the list, I’d pick May. Too many ricochets from those bracelets, Buffy is notably weak versus firearms, and Xena is too shrill. She also has a rather loose tolerance for collateral damage.
I don’t know who Electra Woman is; therefore she does not exist.
And even the least of the candidates – Buffy – could take Isis in a fight. Isis might survive that one, and definitely would survive against Diana Prince’s alter ego because she doesn’t like killing, but both Xena and May are gonna kill her.
TV Wonder Woman is much stronger than Xena. She wrestles tanks and wins. She’s probably about as strong as TV Hulk.
Black Widow is not a TV superheroine. She’s a movie and comic-book superheroine.
Pushed to choose from the list, I’d pick May. Too many ricochets from those bracelets, Buffy is notably weak versus firearms, and Xena is too shrill. She also has a rather loose tolerance for collateral damage.
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I don’t think anybody ever got injured by Wondy’s ricochets. My wife was introduced to the 70s WW by MeTV, and she says that the Carter Wonder Woman was obviously bulletproof (there’s some episode where she stopped volcano-sparking laser beam simply by standing in front of it, but though it clearly pained her it didn’t fry her) but was using the bracelets to make sure the bullets were shattered entirely rather than bouncing off randomly.
Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman, no-brainer! Especially if she’s wearing the costume from the final year of the show (I swear, the top got lower with each passing season)! :o
Of course she’d be wearing that costume; it had been re-engineered so that nobody of merely human strength could remove the belt and short-circuit her powers. The fact that the top got lower too is a consequence of the obvious fact that her seamstress was one of her sister Amazons, who just as obviously were typically not heterosexual.
Not talking to the bad guys. Talking to your dispatcher, lying my ass off to give May extra motivation to come hurt my captors while rescuing me. Of course, being me, I’ve got Red Reddington on the other line. He owes me several, too, and a backup plan is always a good idea.
Buffy. I ain’t passing up an opportunity, no matter how slight, of meeting Giles. I will whine and badger that girl worse than Dawn on a Tuesday until she makes the introduction.
