Today, I went on my traditional two-days-after-Easter shopping spree to get myself some Easter candy at 50% off. While I was filling my basket at CVS, I noticed a whole huge pile of these:
In case you can’t tell, these are giant chocolate crosses. Of course, I about laughed my ass off, and had to buy a couple.
Thing is, is this offensive to Christians? The Jesus coming back from the dead part of the holiday has always been sort of separate from the Pagan, Easter Bunny, let’s eat lots of chocolate side of the holiday. To make a chocolate cross, a confection that is symbolic of an entire religion, not to mention the torture device of the man that countless millions believe is the Son of God, seems to be sort of cheapening Easter and Christianity in a way. Am I right on this one? What do you think, Christians?
Oh, and Brian? Lest you despair, I got a white chocolate one for you.
I was gonna say, “I suppose I should be, but I am not surprised, but given commercialism, blah blah blah …”, BUT
I will retract that unposted post. While it is silly and I can’t quite imagine myself biting into Christ’s bane, Easter is a day of celebration. What better way to celebrate than eating Chocolate! If nothing else, I suppose I should be glad someone might ask “why a cross on easter?”.
I’ve seen chocolate Last Suppers, which floored me. And last time I was in England, I saw chocolate Six Wives of Henry the Eighth (“no, you only bite the heads off Anne Boleyn and Katherine Howard!”).
Yes, chocolate crosses fill me with deep resentment–resentment that I didn’t think of it first. How come everybody else always gets the good ideas to market before me? Do you suppose there’s a chocolate Jesus in the offing? Which part would you eat first? The head, hands, or nail-pierced feet? Ooops, sorry, I think that last part was blasphemy. Sam Walton, forgive me for I have sinned…
Or maybe I should pray to Saint Barnum, who said, “There’s a Jesus-shaped lollipop born every minute.”
(I hope you stocked up on peeps, as well. Won’t see 'em again till next year, ya know.)
“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!” - the White Queen
I can’t help but think of Tom Waits’ song “Chocolate Jesus”, from Mule Variations. (An excellent disc, BTW.)
“When the weather gets rough, and it’s whiskey in the shade
It’s best to wrap your savior up in cellophane
He flows like the big muddy, but that’s OK–
Pour him over ice cream for a nice parfait”
I think it’s safe to say that if there is a hell, Tom Waits is going there.
Dr. J
“Seriously, baby, I can prescribe anything I want!” -Dr. Nick Riviera
Being a Christian, it doesn’t bother me. Chocolate is chocolate no matter what image its in. Easter is Resurrection Day to me, but if people want to eat chocolate, they don’t need a special holiday, as far as I’m concerned!
I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR:
Two weeks, two days, 17 hours, 40 minutes and 10 seconds.
669 cigarettes not smoked, saving $83.68.
Life saved: 2 days, 7 hours, 45 minutes.
We also would have accepted “Mmmmmm… Sacri-licious!”
Tony Soprano: We’re the only country in the world where the pursuit of happiness is guaranteed in writing… Where’s my happiness then? Dr. Melfi: It’s the pursuit that’s guaranteed. Tony Soprano Yeah, always a fucking loophole.
I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR:
Two weeks, two days, 17 hours, 41 minutes and 53 seconds.
669 cigarettes not smoked, saving $83.68.
Life saved: 2 days, 7 hours, 45 minutes.
Just so you guys don’t get bored agreeing with yourselves…
Yes, I think that making a chocolate cross is as bad as making a chocolate Ghandi or Mother Teresa(and I don’t follow the teachings of either.) Anyone who would give their life for others deserves better.
