Christmas canceled by L.A. Sheriff

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…because Santa Claus was killed and eaten by reindeer.

@News Article

The Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department has announced the cancellation of Christmas this year, after the brutal killing of Santa Claus in front of a Reseda home. Sheriff’s deputies arrived at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Georg Avakian, on Yolanda Avenue, to discover the horrifying remains of Santa Claus in their front lawn.

Mr. Claus, an eight-foot-tall inflatable plastic figure, who is illuminated from within by an incandescent bulb, was pronounced dead at the scene. “It was horrible,” said Imelda Villalobos, a neighbor of the Avakians. “The reindeer were eating him, and the police weren’t coming.”

As late as early morning reindeer turned carnivores were still feeding on the plastic corpse. “I had to send my kids to their bedrooms, it was so terrible,” said Villalobos. “How can I tell them now that Christmas is over?”

Avakian has stated that his son, Arkan, perhaps led Claus to come to their house. “Maybe he [Mr. Claus] was checking his list twice…Arkan isn’t a perfect angel, but he’s a good boy.”

Meanwhile, animal psychologists at the Los Angeles Zoo have three of the reindeer involved in custody. “They probably were reacting out of resentment, …and wouldn’t you?”, said Amy Moore, of the Los Angeles Zoo Animal Rehabilitation Project. “ I can’t say I blame them.”