One 10 year old hyperactive boy (hardly any trouble)and one college ready 18 year old boy/man, one slightly used wife, one mortgage, two car payments various other bills and one full time job,
FOR:
Trip to Cancun Mexico, minimum two weeks all inclusive. (Must include gold Amex card and one 21 year old beautiful blonde female who is addicted to tequila and will do anything if drunk enough)
Will consider throwing in one spoiled shih-tzu dog.
Contact this thread if interested.
And please feel free to place your classified here.
One of the few to be personally welcomed to this board by Ed Zotti.
one lab, insecure, spoiled, and wants your CONSTANT loving
one gander (will throw in the goose for free) with a penchant for running after said teens and dog and…well…grabbing their skin and pulling…very hard (great for scaring off unwanted teens and dogs)
one dot.com job, with great opportunity to become quite well-off - but takes up way too much time and mental resources
Make me an offer: One all-inclusive life, complete with a menial full time job, stressful classes, irresponcible friends, emotionally needy Siamese cat, situated in picturesque Burlington, Vt.
Willing to trade for alternate life in New York, Dublin, or London. Las Angelinos need not apply.
A little persistance goes a long way. Announcing:
“I go on guilt trips a couple of time a year. Mom books them for me.” A custom made Wally .sig!
Included: one husband. Husband has had only one owner. Comes with many pieces of musical equipment, such as guitars, amps, PA system, and a small home-recording thingamabob. Dazed look on husband’s face is permanent.
Also included: two children, one age three, one age six months. They’re very cute, but very loud. Three-year-old delights in making things messy, including herself. No clothes are needed. She doesn’t like them. Six-month-old thinks three-year-old is greatest thing since Enfamil. What else can I say about that?
Willing to trade for extended period of quiet, and a case of Sam Adams Cherry Wheat.
Cristi, Slayer of Peeps
I made my husband join a bridge club. He jumps next Tuesday.
WANTED:
One kind, caring, financially secure and intelegent lady. Fluency in German or Russian a plus.
willing to support my book addiction, tolerate my love of power tools, and laugh at my stupid jokes.
Must have all teeth and ability to correct my grammar and spelling for all future SDMB posts.
There’s not a single grey hair on my soul,
nor senile tenderness either.
I’ve shaken the world with my voice’s power:
There I go handsome,
Twenty-two years old
Aha
yes must have all teeth.
Is a pride to walk down to the corner store with a woman who has all her teeth.
Almost as good double wide on a acre of land.
**Hurry Ladies or Gay Men, This offer Will Not Last Long! **
Husband. One Owner. Trained in the usual domestic hen pecked ways ( “Yes Dear.” “You look skinny today.” " Gee, this tastes good, what is it?") posesses all his own teeth, 20/20 vision, excellent health and tons of tools for various building, dismantling and jobs of destruction. Speaks fluent german and ESPN. Will change a poopy diaper without complaint. Likes inlaws, cooking and having a party between his ears. Needs lots of sex. Current owner too pooped to do the horizontal tango.
Looking for: Someone to share the sex duties with him. (or at least do the laundry and cooking.) Will consider interns and au pairs.
Hey Suo Na. I am interested is shipping and handleing included LOL
There’s not a single grey hair on my soul,
nor senile tenderness either.
I’ve shaken the world with my voice’s power:
There I go handsome,
Twenty-two years old
For sale: 1 apartment load of crap - books, papers, second-hand furniture, assorted boxes of “stuff”. Will trade for mansion with full cleaning staff. 20 yr old nubile vixen optional.
Hardy 18 year old college student, male. Blonde hair, blue eyes. 6’, 150 lbs, in good shape. Clear skin, bad eyes. Nice, intelligent, witty, funny, talks too much. Includes clothes, furniture, car, electronics, books, and comics. Free to good home with high allowance (>$1000/month), no curfew, tolerance for drunkenness, good sense of humor and abundance of frozen foods. Nubile 16-22 year old female a plus. Must be close to campus. Serious inqueries only, please.
You can’t accidently create a handicapped baby whilst smoking pot. - Coldfire
