Clerks Fans: Post Your Favorite Line From the Film-Possible (I Mean Likely) Profanity

Leonardo Leonardo: Too long has Osgood hardware been a thorn in my side!
Man on Phone: We don’t have to talk about the matrix, we can talk about other things. Movies, girls…the matrix.

Dante: Hey, you got any balls down there?

Jay: Biggest pair you ever seen, Dingleberry!

Dante: You’re a danger to both the dead and the living.

Randal: I think you can see her kidneys

(from the cartoon)

Steve-Dave: Will this administration ever bring the Hamburglar to justice?

Charles Barkley: That’s cold, Obi-Wan.

Dante: You threatened the President?

Randal: Not today.

Dante: I told you to get out of here, Barkley!

Cartoon Randall: Is this some kind of gay thing?
Leonardo Leonardo: No.
Randall: You’re sure?
LL: …Yeeeeeeessss.

Cartoon Jay: That looks like a huge bong! [watches a dog walk by] Hey, that looks like a bong, too!

Jay: Man, I wish I had a lightsaber. I’d be all SWHOONSHWOON! SHWOONSHWOONSHOON! WOOOAHJEDI! Slice open Tubby here and keep warm for the night.

Jay: I’m Jay.
Silent Bob: And I’m Silent Bob.
Charles Barkley: And I’m Charles Barkley!
Jay: Didn’t we tell you to get out of here?!

So, is anyone else looking forward to Kevin Smith’s stint on Degrassi: The Next Generation? He gets to make out with Stacie Mystisisin, who plays Caitlin.

“Nothing can kill the Grimace.”

Cartoon Jay: A guy with the realest beard I ever saw set another guy on fire, and Bob Saget made a wicked joke at their expense.

OOPS, I mean Alan Thicke made a wicked joke at their expense.
:smack:

stupid stupid stupid. . .

From the cartoon:

Jay: I wanna get in line for that Caitlin chick’s kissing booth.

Dante Hicks: What? Caitlin has a kissing booth, like for charity?

Jay: Yeah, only it don’t cost nothing, and it’s not for charity… and there’s no booth… and it’s more than just kissing… and you don’t have to be a guy… Dude, she’s cheating on you.

And I second the love for :“Ooh, Mini-trucker Magazine!”

Forgot this one from the cartoon:

“So much for Dante and Caitlin Two, Electric Boogaloo.”

looking at a monkey in a cage
Randal Graves: See, I scared him. He’s shaking.
Dante Hicks: No, he’s masturbating.
Randal Graves: Yeah, but it’s out of fear.

Dante Hicks: Boy, it wasn’t until years later that we found out what “fag” REALLY meant. Right, “mate”?
Randal Graves: You’re a fag.
Dante Hicks: No, a fag’s a cigarette, remember?
Randal Graves: You’re a cigarette.

I can’t believe it took until the second page for someone to remember that one. Especially since it used to be the ‘catchquote’ for my class.