I’m a lady with lady parts, and it’s nuts to say that when a man is raped, it is less violating. Rape is rape. Lady parts aren’t the criteria to be be violated. Unless you would like to argue that a woman who is anally raped doesnt really feel violated becasue her “lady parts” were left alone?
Everyone is going to experience sexual assault differently. Well, everyone who experiences it, that is. You can’t declare rape of one gender to be less violating than rape of another gender. A woman who is raped may deal much better than a man, if only because men feel secure most of the time. So having that security breached may be much more violating,* for that victim. *
Maybe I am woman-splaining if I share the following two anecdotes.
When I was a teenager, I awoke to an exboyfrined in my bed. He was…less than sober, shall we say, and had come into my home and tried to “get back together.” His idea of getting back together was to molest me in my sleep, and try to fuck me when I woke up. I talked my way out it. I was lucky that he wasn’t completely in his right mind, because I was able to convince him ti get the fuck out. I was terrified, but it worked out. It didn’t fuck me up nearly as much as…
My best friend had a similar experience. Not an ex, but a new “friend.” They had been hanging out, drinking, and my friend passed out. He (yes HE) awoke to his new buddy sucking his dick. Apparently signals were misread, or something. He was freaked the fuck out, but managed to get the guy off him.
Now, neither of us were raped, in these anecdotes, but would you agree that we were both sexually assaulted? Mine was…well, it wasn’t fun, but I wasn’t that terribly done in by the experience. Im glad I kept my head and didn’t scream, not because the dirtbag deserved that, but becasue my dad would have SHOT HIM, and then my dad might have had to stand trial, and it would have been a damn mess. I wouldn’t repeat the experience but I dealt with it and moved on.
My friend, on the other hand, was a little bit mentally fucked by the experience. he questioned his sense of being, his sense of masculinity, completely blamed himself and generally took a long time to deal. Was he sending signals of some sort? Was this his fault? Was it ok to see this guy as a predator? Or was he some sort of…I dunno…a romantic who wasn’t really to blame?
I’m using these two anecdotes because they are similar in many ways. Women often do blame themselves, and some small part of me did as well. And I still do, in a way. But my sense of self was not shaken by the experience in this instance.
So was I more violated by dint of having lady parts?
We aren’t talking about man-rape, we are supposed to be talking about Harvey What-his-face, being a serial creep and abuser, I don’t think men were in his radar (??). Some how is Hillary’s fault?don’t think so. I stated in my post man-rape is " no less horrible ". So there, I am done on this thread, no more from me!
Now I have argued in other threads that a woman is far more likely to feel threatened by sexual pressure and harassment than a man. That goes back to the point that men usually do feel more secure, physically, than women. And I think it is beyond stupid that Hilary should somehow be held responsible for either the sins of Weinstein or the sins of her husband. If it is true, then it is ridiculous to say that “yeah, its totally true but she shouldnt be the one to have said it.”
If you are offended by what she said, but only because she said it, then something is terribly wrong. But it is not with her.
I disagree. If you want to stand by your man, even after knowing all of his fucked up transgressions; you don’t get to preach about the morality of others with out looking like an idiot.
Kind of like when Melania Trump said she was going to campaign against cyber bullying.
Never heard that one, can’t remember any others, and no, Bill Clinton’s adultery wasn’t common knowledge. Just because it was common knowledge where you were hanging out, doesn’t mean it was common knowledge across the U.S. population.
What do you expect? A noob comes along and sees you dismiss someone’s revelation of sexual assault. I have no idea whether you’re right or wrong, and neither does the noob. Obviously there is a history, but do you really expect everyone to know it? On the surface, your comments seem utterly vile. Instead of demanding people “search your history” perhaps you could explain yourself a little better.
Rubbish. I expect to not be accused of rape blaming someone when I state that I don’t believe the encounter occurred in the first place. The comments are only vile if you did not bother to read the whole post.
The noob in question posted her own load of horse apples because she did not bother to read either.
Sorry, but this is so wrong. Bill Clinton’s first national Bimbo Eruption was prior to the 1992 Iowa Caucus, even appearing on 60 minutes 2 weeks prior to voting… and trust me, this wasn’t, how did you put it, the “one time when Bill and Hillary were interviewed on TV about it”. He got his ass kicked in Iowa because of the allegations, came in 2nd in New Hampshire a week or so later, giving himself the nickname “The Comeback Kid”, won the South on Super Tuesday, and that was that.
But there was no time during the 1992 race when Bill Clinton’s name was on a ballot and the issue of sexual impropriety was not a factor. And if you were on the Right, like I was, and listening to the then-ascendent Limbaugh, like I was, you were well-informed of all this and how his wife was obviously a political harpy with her own game to play, which is why she stood by her man. But not like Tammy Wynette. Which was wrong of Hillary, for some reason.
<double checks which section we are in> Nope, BBQ Pit. I can be as blunt as I like and honestly? Any asswipe that considers taking a rape report in a hospital, and diminishes the actual injuries to the person [male or female] reporting the rape I will feel perfectly free to call them twatwaffles, douchebrains or whatever else I personally feel about them.If they think I am mean spirited, then maybe they need to stop and mentally and emotionally put themselves in my place. I was walking back to my dorm room a dusk - about a 5 minute walk, not out drinking, or trying to hook up with someone and I get slammed in the face several times and dragged between some buildings out of sight then sucker punched in the middle of my back knocking my breath out of me and my lower half stripped down and made ready for action. The only thing I could manage was to bite hard and do whatever damage I could to the guy in hopes he would leave me alone as too much bother. Sorry for not being compliant and undressing and spreading my legs - nasty shit happens to people, so if you are a snowflake, get out of the Pit.
Not sure how we can confirm your statement. I know. Tell us what I had for lunch. If you get that right, I’ll take your word on the rape. So, what did I have?
(Apologies to aruvqan. Trying to make a point. I’m sorry for what you went through.)
Good god, what a truly horrifying thing to go through.
I’m glad you had the tenacity to fight off your assailant. I can appreciate that many victims are not able to do so.
My apologies if the ironic intent of my “mean-spirited” remark was not clear. It was directed at Monty’s taking umbrage at your disparagement of the officers’ apathy following your violent ordeal.
For whatever reason, Monty seems convinced you are trolling. I have no reason to think so, myself. But I will join with the others who have rejected your suggestion that no one without lady parts can truly understand the trauma of rape. (Well, Monty’s behaving like a bit of a dick, so I guess I’m siding with raventhief.)
