I wouldnt mind getting laid, its been long enough what with the breakup and all.
What I really want is to love and be loved.
Sorry, but this is the place to partake in carnal knowledge, and as we know, ravaging a body does not equate with the warm fuzzies of twitterpation. 
I have stamina. I played high school football!
No, but seriously, I was decent, if not good. And I ran track and played soccer and basketball and squash and baseball, so you could say I was a good athlete and not be completely lying out of your teeth.
All my parts are working. Well oiled, in some cases.
I can follow orders. I can also give them, but as this would be my first time I don’t know that said orders would amount to much.
Only one?!
Oh I never said I’d turn down a good fuck! L 
Nen said:
“Only one?!”
Yes, Nen, only one. Many things I am, but fuck ‘n’ run I am not. Only one. Preferably The One . . . but I’m mixing tame thoughts and actual wishes with kinky stuff. Gets a big much for me to handle.
But yes, only one. I am not, after all, diphallic.
Sorry, I was making any accusations. I didn’t think the ol’ menage a trois was necessarily a one time thing. Twas just a joke.
Nen: no apology necessary. I wasn’t accusing and didn’t mean to sound such.
Now, to get this thread back on a less dull topic, I have never been laid. Any takers?
So how many people immediately checked out the home page, looking for pictures?
Re the rest of this, I’m married, but I’ll happily sit back in a lawn chair and pop a hard cider, watching and thinking good thoughts for everyone. Hell, I’ll even serenade y’all:
Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match
Find me a find, catch me a catch
Matchmaker, matchmaker, look through your book
And make me a perfect match
Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match
Find me a find, catch me a catch
Night after night, in the dark, I’m alone
So, find me a match of my own
<aside> Maybe if I pretend to be gay all the women will want to convert me! I’ve seen it a million times on TV and it always leads to raucous fun and sexy hijinx! </aside>
Alas! I am a sensitive and confused soul, looking for guidance in a world I do not really understand. Perhaps there is somebody out there who can help me find my way. sniff
<aside> That oughta do it. This is going to be so cool! </aside>
Cervaise said:
“So how many people immediately checked out the home page, looking for pictures? :)”
If they did, they found three pictures. Two are of me about six months ago (early Janury) and not terrible lighting. Important notes regarding those:
-
They were taken with a $60 digital camera. Those of you who know your digital cameras know there are better ones in existence.
-
This camera does not have a flash. Which means we need half the lights in the house focused on camera target to get decent lighting.
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My sister (14 years old) took the picture. Rosie (sister) is not a professional photographer. She did it because she wanted to.
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I have not cut my hair sine the pictures were taken. I have (right now) a ponytail roughly . . 8 inches long, maybe a bit more. And for those of you who followed the link to the more risqué picture, let us say . . . there is more of me now.
I promise to take new pictures at some point, but I have to get around to getting a new battery for the digital camera. Or get actual pictures taken by someone with a roll to finish. Then I can scan them in and load them on my page (or send them to private email addresses).
Okay, enough shameless self-promotion.
This party’s dead. If I’m gonna pretend I’m gay to get women, I’m going where there are some women!