Seein’ you mope around here ruins my, whaddya call it, “joy de veever”?
You punch in at 8:30 every morning, except you punch in at 7:30 following a business holiday, unless it’s a Monday, then you punch in at 8 o’clock. Punch in late and they dock you. Incoming articles get a voucher, outgoing articles provide a voucher. Move any article without a voucher and they dock you. Letter size a green voucher, oversize a yellow voucher, parcel size a maroon voucher. Wrong color voucher and they dock you! 6787049A/6. That is your employee number. It will not be repeated! Without your employee number you cannot get your paycheck. Inter-office mail is code 37, intra-office mail 37-3, outside mail is 3-37. Code it wrong and they dock you! This has been your orientation. Is there anything you do not understand, is there anything you understand only partially? If you have not been fully oriented, you must file a complaint with personnel. File a faulty complaint and they dock you!
Those are good burgers, Walter.
CIA Superior: What did we learn, Palmer?
CIA Officer: I don’t know, sir.
CIA Superior: I don’t fuckin’ know either. I guess we learned not to do it again.
CIA Officer: Yes, sir.
CIA Superior: I’m fucked if I know what we did.
CIA Officer: Yes, sir, it’s, uh, hard to say
CIA Superior: Jesus Fucking Christ.
The boss isn’t always right, but he’s always the boss.
Will you come off it, Walter? You’re not even fucking Jewish, man.
What am I talkin’ about? I’m talkin’ about sex, boy, what the hell you talkin’ about? I’m talkin’ about l’amour! I’m talkin’ that me and Dot are swingers, as in “to swing.” I’m talkin’ about wife swappin’. I’m talkin’ about what they call nowadays open marriage. I’m talk…
So, you were havin’ sex with the little fellow, then.
You want to find an outlaw, hire an outlaw. You want to find a Dunkin’ Donuts, call a cop.
Go Bears!
Regards,
Shodan
What’s the rumpus?
That night, I had a dream. I drifted off thinking about happiness, birth and new life, But now I was haunted by a vision of… He was horrible. The lone biker of apocalypse. A man with all the powers of Hell at his command. He could turn turn the day into night and lay to waste everything in his path. He was especially hard on little things-the helpless and the gentle creatures. He left a scorched earth in his wake befouling even the sweet desert breeze that whipped across his brow. I didn’t know where he came from or why. I didn’t know if he was dream or vision. But I feared that I myself had unleashed him.
You can’t display a toad in a fine restaurant like this! Why, the good folks here would go right off the feed!
I think I’m gonna barf …
Well, that passed, now I’m hungry again.
No, no. God, no. We don’t need those idiots [the FBI] fucking everything up. Burn the body. Get rid of it.
O-kay then.
What’s the most you ever lost on a coin toss?
You thought that Bunny had been kidnapped and you were fuckin’ glad, man. You could use it as an excuse to make some money disappear. All you needed was a sap to pin it on! You’d just met me! You human… paraquat! You figured ‘Oh, here’s a loser’, you know? A deadbeat, someone the square community won’t give a shit about.
I don’t want Fop, goddamn it! I’m a Dapper Dan man!
Guess I’m the only one that remains unaffiliated!