I was married for 4 years. During my 5 years with my wife, I forgot how to even flirt.
I’ve been re-learning how to be single since last April. I broke a 9 month celibate streak this winter, but it’s been 6 weeks since I’ve had any action! Since October, I’ve been stood up or shot down by 9 women. There is one woman who has given me a second date since the ex & I separated, and we’re brother/sister friends now. No chance for romantic intimacy there.
The other night I decided that I’m off women for the time being, just not going to go there. It hurts too damn much to get turned down for dates and it hurts even more to get stood up. It feels like someone telling me that I’m not good enough and when it happens enough, I start to believe it. I figure I’ll save myself the hurt by not trying to date. I’ve always figured that I’m good-looking, can hold a job, own a house (OK, I own a mortgage), can present my ideas clearly; I even have a good vocabulary. I figure that I’ll eventually have a relationship again, just not right now.
Then I see this, the scariest thread I’ve ever seen! Shit, there are people who have been celibate for decades! I’m almost 40. I’m not the handsome young loser I was in the 80s, with interested young girls everywhere I looked. Available interested women are getting scarce. Am I setting myself up to live the remaining 30, 35 years of my life completely celibate? Is there anything I can even do about it?
Fuck it. I might as well just start finding other things to do with my life and forget that I’ll ever have a relationship again. I guess It breaks my heart and pisses me off.