Come on in! Who the F#@k are you?!

Short and sweet.

I went to the SDMB chat room on IRC this afternoon. I did so after reading a thread in the ATMB section which detailed how to download the software needed and get to the chat room.

When I entered, was I greeted with a warm “hello”? No. Was I asked who I was in a polite manner? No.

I was asked the following:

“Who the fuck are you and what are you doing here?”

Excuse me? Who the fuck are you? I won’t name the person who said it, but suffice it to say that they are lucky I wasn’t in the same room as them when they posted, or they’d be eating their teeth right about now.

To the pinworm eating, vaginal crust snorting, scrotal lickwad who welcomed me this afternoon I say this:

Go fuck yourself, asshole.

Thank you, and good night.


Bummer, dude. I’ve never been to the chat. I’ll stick with the boards because the posts are insightful and witty. Probably because people have to put in a little thought when composing a post, while on chat it’s easy to leap before looking. Don’t let the bastards get you down.

I can’t believe the asshole who said that to you. I’m very sorry. What a jerk he/she is!

Ah yes, I love reading about how tough someone would have been had they actually been in the vicinity of the person who pissed them off. We’re all bad-asses in anonimity.

Hey freshmeat, did it occur to you that maybe someone was just having a bit of fun with you? Take a look at the Welcome Wagon link in my sig to see examples of not-so-warm welcomes, but nothing harmful meant by any of it. After said greeting did you ask what that was all about, giving the person a chance to explain, or did you leave all pissed off that it wasn’t filled with shiney happy people? I’m guessing the latter, since you chose to respond here, instead of in the chatroom where it truly belongs.

And drpepper:

You say yourself you’ve never been to chat, but then you go on and talk about what’s said as if you have some insight to the place. Shut up if you don’t know what you’re talking about. And “don’t let the bastards get you down?” One person allegedly says one not-friendly thing, and the chat room is full of bastards now?

And FTR, Straightdope Chat is not affiliated with the Chicago Reader or this website whatsoever.

We’re nice. Get to know us. We don’t usually greet people like that.

Unless you’re a jerk. Then don’t bother.

Way to kick someone when they’re down, Crunchy. Very classy.

Isn’t it generally regarded as good form and all that stuff to keep chat shit in chat, as opposed to dragging it onto the board? I recall at least one pit thread whose OP got deleted a good bit because 95 percent of it was about chat.

I find this fascinating.

I’ve never been to a chat room.
I can’t imagine random posters, with multi-thread crosstalk and no continuity. It’s hard enough to filter out a single thread.

Correct answers to the question: “Who the fuck are you and what are you doing here?”

“May I respectfully request that you clarify who the fuck is asking?”

“I’m Fred Fuckworthy of the Ft. Fuckfinger Federal Forensics unit. Pull down your pants, please.”

“If you fucking ask me that again, I’ll fuck you up. Um… what was the question?”

“I’m the plumber. I’ve come to fix the sink.”

“I’m your knight in shining armor, and I’m here to make all your dreams come true. But, hey, since you’re not into it, I’ll go grout the tub.”

“I’m fucking Superman! Right now, as we speak.”

“Awww, who’s the cute little mean person? Isn’t he precious? Say something nasty, that’s a good boy.”

“Great! So this is the Misanthropes Anonymous meeting!”

“Wow. How’d you get a bug that big all the way up your ass?”

“Oh, blow me. I’m outta here.”

You see, freshmeat, the chat room is a rough and tumble place, full of very funny, very sharp people. They have a low tolerance for assholes. Assholes who, if insulted, would just run to the boards and complain about it. I’ve been insulted numerous times in chat. Sometimes I deserved it. Sometimes I begged for it. Every time, I enjoyed it, because it was done wittily and well.

What happened to you was, in effect, an asshole quiz. Guess what? You flunked.

We asked you who you were. Repeatedly. And you didn’t answer. We assumed you were one of the many freaks that often wanders in and wants to start trouble.

No, we didn’t all stop talking and offer you tea and crumpets, but egads man! Fend for yourself! Take some freakin initiative.

I’m sorry you felt slighted. Come back again some time and we’ll roll out the red carpet for you. Really.

Wow - I am amazed that some people can rationalize this type of behavior to the point that it is actually acceptable.

I was under the impression that it is rude to ask a stranger “who the fuck” they are. I will make a note that this is an acceptable norm on SD IRC.

I guess some tests are worth flunking.


Listen, shithead. You have 39 posts. I have not seen 38 of them, so I judge you on this one. I didn’t once recall you saying “Hi”, shitwad on a stick. I don’t expect the padre to throw holy water on my face and instruct me on how many hail mary’s I should say before I go into the booth and say “Bless me father, for I have sinned”.

Did you try to start a conversation? No.
Did you address any of us by name? No.
Did we call you a shit-brained baboon-ass-licking son of a yak felching clog carver? NO

The fuck are you complaining about?

“Dear heavens, they said the f word in addressing me! The boards shall know about this!”

Apparently you wanted some insults towards you to complain about so here’s a partial list:

Why you suck:
You whine
Your feet smell
Your penis is too small
Your breasts sag
You doubledip
You dated Carrot Top
You have bad breath
Your hygiene is horrible
You ate the last of the funyuns

And that’s jsut a partial list! Go fuck yourself, you piece of self-serving crap. Barbarian Shit Rag.

Alright, now this is going waaaaay too far. Nobody deserves such an insult. :slight_smile:

Bullshit. How is he down? He gets one comment in the chatroom, which really has nothing to do with the board. By all appearances he doesn’t say anything to the person in question there, instead choosing to come here and talk tough about physical violence.

He doesn’t name the person, so whoever said it may not even know this is going on, so how can he/she come in to defend the statement (if there’s anything to defend). Instead of finding out what the problem was there, he comes here with a “look how mean they were” attitude. Chicken-shit tactics if you ask me. For someone who claims, had they actually been in the room together, the offending party would be “eating their teeth right about now” he sure chose to run from that fight to come here and anonymously attack and threaten the person in the safety of numbers.

He’s not down. He got his feelings hurt and is looking for sympathy, which he got from other posters without people hearing both sides of the issue. I made no personal attacks on freshmeat and pointed out other options.

Of course, leander, if you have a problem with the tone of my post, you’re free to open a thread and call me out on it. I’ve told you this before, but you chose not to do anything. I also notice that although I made no personal attacks while Mercutio did, I’m the one kicking someone while he’s down. I hope you’re not sniping at me here just out of sore feelings from our previous run-in. Now please explain how my response to freshmeat is kicking him while he’s down.

Sapphire Bullet explains that our poor Mr. Meat was asked repeatedly who he was with no answer. Hmmm… maybe not as cut and dry as was made out in the OP now is it?

Hey freshmeat:

There he goes, generalizing and judging the whole. Do I detect the smell of burning martyr?

I was welcomed with warm greets, and tonight was my first time on IRC.

I would assume they were just having fun with ya, dude.

Yes, I noticed that no one was giving him the kicking he deserved. I also didn’t think he was down and that Crunchy was being a perfect gentleman.

I’m not sure, but I think freshmeat was lagged when he came in. Long period of silence, and he’d been there for a long time before the exchange in question. I can’t be sure, though, because I never PINGed him.

This doesn’t belong on the board, anyway. It’s a chat thing.

Just a reminder to all that read that comment, the #straightdope is not a part of the Straight Dope or the Chicago Reader. It is run by some of the SDers but not a part of here.

Oh and from past experience, it’s not a good idea to complain about the chat room on the SDMB…been there, did that, got an eyefull along with made several enemies.

Stop it, you’re making me blush. You keep this up and pretty soon we’re going to be accused of being the Elite Clique[sup]TM[/sup].

But I didn’t mean to imply you were kicking him while he was down, since I didn’t think he was really down to begin with. I was holding off on the personal insults until we heard from the other side of the camp. Now that we have, I’m waiting for freshmeat to respond to the allegation that he was asked who he was several times before the “Who the fuck are you and what are you doing here?” comment.

Of course, as has been pointed out by myself and several other posters, this doesn’t really belong on the boards anyway. The mods may just close this.

Now them’s fighting words!
For the love of Pete, my first time in chat I was jizzed on by Monstr104 and humped by MrCynical, and do they call? <sniff>
And before the cries of “It’s a clique! You’re all a bunch of meanie poopy heads! I’m taking my ball and going home!” start, I’d like to point out a simple, yet amazing fact.

**You get out of it what you put into it. **