Help! I need to come up with a skit for our staff show. there are three cooks. (Actually a chef and two cooks) (two guys and a girl) it will be performed for families so vulgarities etc may be a bad idea.
it can be stolen from an act already done on a tv show etc so those are acceptable too.
(If you can’t come up with a cooking skit, how about just any funny skit to act out?)
I have acted this out many times. You need a really strong blender and/or food processor, and at least one person in your group has to be fearless and have a strong stomach.
You go through this like you’re filming an infomercial, with a “host,” a “chef,” and a “volunteer.” The volunteer can be a plant in the audience, the host’s sidekick, anything you want. The host and the chef are talking about the importance of eating three well-balanced meals a day, and how preparing your meals at home can save a lot of money. But who has time to cook three meals a day?
As they are describing the various meals, the chef will pour all the food they are talking about into the blender or food processor. For example, for breakfast, you may want a two-egg omelette (crack two eggs into the blender), some cereal and milk (pour that in), a piece of fruit, and a cup of coffee or a glass of juice. Pour all that into the blender, WHIRRRRRRR, the audience laughs nervously.
OK, now it’s lunchtime. How about a tuna salad sandwich? (Open up the sandwich, push the tuna into the blender, hesitate momentarily and then shrug and push the bread in there too.) Potato chips? Sure, they’re fine in moderation! Piece of fruit? Soda or tea? Why not, you can have that for lunch! WHIRRRRRRRRR!
Dinnertime! How about some spaghetti? (Throw that in there, sauce and all). Gotta have a vegetable! Who likes spinach? (This is good because whatever you have in there will turn green.) And dessert? A slice of pie or cake? In it goes! WHIRRRRRRRRR!
Well, we have a day’s worth of nutrition right here, you say, never missing a beat or stopping the patter. Instead of taking time out of your busy schedule, you have condensed a day’s worth of food into one tasty and attractive beverage (and then be sure to hold it up for the audience to laugh or groan at). And now, the volunteer can ascend into the history books by drinking that concoction! The crowd goes wild!
(Seriously, we have enacted that scene before, but I was not the drinker.)
That would be a great sketch, but I would see if I could somehow secretly swap out the concoction for something that actually tastes good for the spectator to drink. Kind of like the old, “Put water in the bucket, then throw it into the crowd, but it has turned to confetti” routine.
I think Phil Hartman’s “Anal Retentive Chef” from SNL is one of the greatest skits ever–“Now, we all know the secret to Swiss steak is not the seasonings but making sure all the pieces are exactly the same size.”
I was going to suggest the Swedish Chef from The Muppet Show – but it now occurs to me that if you had the Swedish Chef do the Anal Retentive Chef, you’d have …
… something like BBVL’s totally ridiculous melange.
The kids and I made a couple of movies (so far) on our summer break. They are truly awful, but we had fun making them.
One play was a stone-age beauty pageant where one contestant recited a recipe for her talent. It went something like this: For my talent, I will recite a recipe for Brontosaurus Stew. First heat your cave to 450 degress. Next, take one medium sized brontosaurus. Season it with 20 lumps of coal and stew it for 3 1/2 days. Next chop up some two-year-old ferns…etc.
Rip off the evil Mister Mike and do the “long steel needles in the eyes” gag, using famous chefs. First person announces he’s doing his impersonation of Julia Child plunging long steel needles into her eyes. The imitation is the person falling to the floor clutching at his eyes and screaming (for about 20 seconds). Next person does Emeril Lagase (sp?) plunging long steel needles into his eyes. Next person does that Naked Chef guy with long steel needles plunged into his eyes. If you want a group finale, do the cast of reality TV series The Restaurant with long steel needles plunged into their eyes.
This killed at Boy Scout camp.