Commercials may have finally hit rock bottom

We’ve suffered through abdominal discomfort ads, toilet paper ads that border on disgusting, diarrhea ads, feminine napkin absorbency, etc. And every year the ads get more specific, like the public is just too fucking stupid to understand what they’re trying to say. But the one I saw today on CNN may be the nadir. It was an ad for butt crack deodorant. Explicitly for butt crack odor abatement. It even talked about “between your cheeks” while in the shower. Do people really not understand that they should wash all the pits while bathing? And do we seriously need a deodorizer specifically targeting one’s ass? Is there a pent-up demand for this that I’m unaware of?

Apparently there’s a whole market for this product.

I’ve argued for decades now that there ought to be a law that requires all ads to show the actor actually using the product for its intended use. If it’s a car you gotta drive it. If it’s coffee you gotta drink it. If it’s hemorrhoid cream you gotta daub it up your nether regions.

I think that would go a long way to removing ads for inherently indelicate products from our airwaves, internet, etc.

It’s not the first time I’ve seen that type of product.

The commercial is done in good humor. I think there are some people who really need to use this product, or at least practice some form of effective body cleaning. I’m sure there are others who would like a product like this for an sense of self confidence in situations where others are in close proximity to their derrieres. Toadies may not say so explicitly but I’m sure some of them would prefer the person they are seen to be following around in close proximity would use the product. The less said the better about the toadies who wouldn’t prefer that.

I haven’t seen these, who is buying diarrhea?

Cut down on the ads for funeral services, too.

Not gonna happen. Funerals are a rapidly growing market.

I guess you can find some really dedicated method actors that would be willing to use their services for their intended use.

It’s a fluid market.

Where do I send the bill for my new keyboard?

And lately demand has been explosive. Really running hot.

Sorry, I’m not flush with cash.


Grrrreat. How are we going to spread the word about technological advances in tampons?

Is there an opening for a streaming service?

I’ve seen the butt and crotch deodorant add many times. Mostly, I’m annoyed by the spokeswoman. I really hate the part where she says “Allow me to demonstrate. Just kidding! I will not demonstrate.”

I remain unconvinced the average butt and crotch need deodorant if their owner bathes regularly.

I’ve never really thought about it, but what is the intrinsic difference between armpits and your crotch, BO wise?

She also doesn’t understand the concept of ‘infinitely’.

For those lucky enough to have not seen the commercial-

Maybe that’s meant to be ironic, considering the camera angle…