Commercials you love (and some you hate)

I love the commercial for a credit counseling company (can’t remember the name of it), where the guy says with a stupid grin on his face, “I’m in debt up to my eyeballs.” And then at the end of the commercial he says, “Someone please help me!” still with the stupid grin on his face. Although I swear the first time I heard that one I thought he said “Someone please KILL me!” which is funnier.

The commercial I hate is that infernal Dominos Dots one. Gaaah! Stupid kid with his “They’re coming! They’re coming! Uh-oh!” I always want to see that kid get splatted by those gigantic Dominos Dots but it never happens. What’s really annoying is that the commercial was originally for the cinnamon Dots but now it’s for the cheese Dots, they didn’t bother to make a new commercial–they just recycled the old, annoying one.

Oh, and those stupid Ditech commercials. “Lost another loan to Ditech!” Arrggh.

I like Kung-Fu Lassie and the way the cougar drops his jaw as Lassie motions with her paw like “you want a piece of me?” Also the mortgage commercial where the new neighbors move in with kids staring in the window, the new neighbors fighting as they get out of the truck, followed by the bikers, the guy leading two Dobermans, then another carrying two boxes labeled “killer bees”, and finally another guy leading an alligator on a leash.

British/Irish telly.

The one I really really hate at the moment is the Old El Paso ad where yer man is cooking and his EVIL wife is assasinating his cookery skills on the phone to her friend. “I’ll tell you tomorrow. If I’m still alive.” Divorce her! Now!

Y’all have just about covered this topic, but I did see one I liked the other day. Unfortunately I only saw it once, but I’ve been looking for it ever since. It’s for some kind of prescription allergy medicine and it has some woman with an ugly/adorable little Boston bulldog on a leash. Apparently she’s dragging the dog all over town doing her errands, and he keeps giving her these pleading “doggie looks”. (That’s what I liked.) Then at the end of the commercial, she lets him off his leash in a park, and a second later he vanishes over the horizon. “Baxter!..Baxter?”

That’s the one I was thinking of. I like the end, when the one guy does that little two-fingered thing where he points to his eyes and then points to the alien, kind of a “I’m gonna be watching you” thing.

I also like the Swiffer ones. The Goth kids/Dancing Mom one just cracks me up. “I hope it’s not genetic.” Yeah, it’s silly, but I like it.

There’s one for a dog chewy that has a white bull dog sitting in the corner. He turns and looks remorsefully over his shoulder and then turns back to the corner. The voice-over says, “Dog got a dirty mouth?” The product is for Denta-Bones or some tartar-removing chew thing. The way the dog turns and looks at the camera is just so cute.

The Quiznos ads with the scary dead hamster things is just awful. Why they would pick those things to sell food is beyond me.

I really hate those Enzite ads - you know, the one with the grinning idiot who’s taking “male enhancement” drugs. Especially the one with the Japanese businessmen. “He is wood that does not bend.” I’d like to rip his wood out by the roots and beat his teeth in with it.

As a matter of fact, I’m not too fond of any of these damn “boner ads.” I get enough spam in my email advertising crap like that without having to see it every five minutes on every television channel.

Staples’ ads seem to wear well. They are usually funny, and don’t grate when seen for the umpty-fifth time. The one where the kid is looking through the keyhole trying to watch his mother wrapping presents, and the dad takes a turn just in time to get squirted in the eye. The kid’s deadpan “Busted!” is hillarious.

The Kung-Fu Lassie is pretty good.

Two words: Genital Herpes.

Also on the “hate” list: any remix / parody / miscellaneous adulteration of a classic rock song. Using the song itself is bad enough (although there are exceptions) but what the Cadillac marketing department did to “Rock and Roll” will truly earn them all a place in HELL.

I hate the McDonald’s commercial where the guys are sitting around playing poker for french fries. You’d think the loser would be stuck with cold, icky fries that have been touched by everyone at the table.

Kudos to McDonalds by choosing some very normal looking guys for that commercial though.

I don’t like this ad or any ad with inanimate objects that have been anthropomorphised. Just because you give a Hershey’s Kiss a squeaky little voice or give a raisin the ability to dance and sing Motown doesn’t make it cute. It makes me feel that the ad agency is trying to move product by taking the easy way out and not putting the effort into being creative.

OK, time for my medication now.

One exception: The Hershey’s Christmas ad where ten Kisses are turned into handbells playing “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” is pretty good.

Yeah, I like that one, too. That’s how I know it’s Christmastime - The Hershey Kiss Handbells!

The AmEx commercial with Scorsese. Best ad I’ve seen in ages.
Budweiser donkey was great.
Tiger Woods as Carl Spackler. Genius.

However…

McD’s: Sorry bub, I’m actually hatin’ it.
Quizno’s: As much as I like Rathergood.com, I hate this ad. Two mangy rats singing about pepper bars must be a health violation somewhere.
Guinness: I love Guinness. I love St. Patrick’s Day. I H.A.T.E. these f#cking ads. I’m not terribly PC and maybe being a child of/ married to/ friends with F.B.I.* has tainted my outlook. But IMO these ads fall between painfully stupid and offensive. A grown man sitting on St. Patrick’s lap to ask for Guinness? A keg in the living room with wrapped 6packs around it? I know it’s meant to be funny but it seems to pander to the sterotype of the “drunk paddy.” All I’m saying is, if KFC ran a Kwanzaa ad promoting a fried chicken combo meal…
-with watermelon, grape soda and sweet potato pie sides
-cooked by “Mammy”
-showing a little African American boy sitting on Sambo’s lap
the chitlins would hit the fan.

*F.B.I (Foriegn Born Irish)

One of my new favorites is for some sort of truck. (I think) Several guys riding around the desert in a truck and the radio is playing Shania Twain’s “Man!(I feel like a woman)” One guy is singing along, oblivious to the lyrics and how he sounds. The other guys look really uncomfortable.

I like the Mitsubishi ads. I love the offbeat songs they choose. Good songs that haven’t been played to death.

The Pepsi ad about Jimi Hendrix is a favorite of mine, too.

What do I hate? The ad that goes “Got a timeshare? Sell it for CASH!”

I also hate those ads for places that give your short term “payday” loans. They rarely mention the fee that one would have to pay.

I love the JuicyFruit commercial where the guys keep popping out of other things like filing cabinets, windows, etc.

The Quizno’s “We Love the subs!” commercials make me laugh every time. Oh man they’re hilarious!

You know those commercials with John Stamos for um…10-10-987 I think…? Well, the one where he’s at the wedding and he’s dancing with everybody and telling them how much they could save on their long distance…I love that one. Oh, who am I kidding? I love all the John Stamos commercials…

I use Gilette razors, but that obnoxious spot they have been running since the Superbowl makes me wonder what planet their ad people are from. “You feel unbeatable…unstoppable”…“It’s like having an angel by your side.”

It isn’t at all like having an angel by your side, it is exactly like dragging a metal blade along your face.

Count me in as another McDonald’s “I’m hatin’ it” man. I regularly do Shockwave’s Daily Jigsaw, the loading advert for which is the one where the girl realises her date is a bore, spots some good-looking guy walking in and ignores her date to give him the eye.

Her date’s line “And here’s the strange thing, like, I call him Mr Strange 'cause he’s strange” just sets my teeth on edge.
I can’t think of any adverts that I can actually say I like right now, but the Mastercard slots that ran through the Oscars of the lost dog were pretty good.

I really like the new ESPN commercial with the athletes switching sports. Randy Johnson as a pro bowler, Mike Vick in the penalty box… pure hilarity. In fact, I can’t remember an ESPN commercial I DIDN’T like.