“Da pain train is comin’!! WOOO WOOO!!!” Heh, yeah, I love 'em too.
And to keep on topic, I once stole a dollar out the collection basket when I was an altar boy.
Er…does the rule about Dopers revealing they have committed crimes apply here? If some of us suddenly disappear off the boards,you’ll know where we’ve gone.Send someone round with the bail money 
Well, one time I was in the middle of a thick forest, licking on a salt lick. One of my friends came up to me and said she “Cap’n Gutgore Blooddrink! Why the hell are you licking on that salt lick?” to which I responded “because I’m a majestic 13-point buck resting in the cool shade of yonder pine after a long and healthy romp amongst the pine needles.” Then she said “No you’re not. And this isn’t a forest, it’s the crappy kitchen of your one bedroom apartment that you pay too much for and never clean.” Then I realized that I wasn’t a deer, and there wasn’t a salt lick, and I don’t have any friends. I was sitting at my dining table reading a copy of EGM. So I went and made myself a sandwich of peppercorn beef and relish.
-Cap’n GG BD
…and I picked up the broken statue and said, “Hey, who broke the cute horsie?” :rolleyes:
I confess, I’m watching the Terry Tate ads right now, instead of doing my taxes.
OK, I confess
I have visited the deepest part of the worlds oceans, Challenger Deep in the Mariana’s Trench, just once. In 1960. For 20 minutes.
Sorry, I just couldn’t help myself…
I have to confess
I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts 
I’m the one who’s been stealing socks from your dryer.
And, of course, it wouldn’t be so much fun if he weren’t so hard…
As if I still need to, I’ll confess that I often can’t resist the opportunity to make a cheap joke.
I stole your pickle and I’m eating it right now!
I’m Mr. Ruda Duda.
You’ve heard of “lost films”, correct? Films which have no surviving copy?
Well, I’m the one who made all those films lost.
hmmm…isn’t that illegal?
I don’t really know. At no point did she tell me “no”, and though drunk, she remained conscious the entire time. But I’ll tell you what, I’ll ask her if she wants to press charges. She’s now my wife, and she may see that as a good way to get me out of her hair for a while.
By the way, she was <i>well</i> above the age of 14 when it happened.