We drive on the left.
Any opposed?
No?
Declared!
I want to be a princess!
If that is not an option, I’d be more than happy to run a taxi service and Whore House. That way I can screw the tourists 24/7.
I propose our National Sport be Atomic Badger Racing.
You can drive on the left, but I think you’ll be mown down by the rest of us pretty quickly.
Since most of the good positions are already taken, I’d like to be tax collector. Just $9.95 per month puts the wisdom of the world at your fingertips. $2.95 will get you unlimited, unrestricted wisdom for a two day trial.*
- <fineprint>Fees renew automatically each month until you cancel by riding on your head on the back of a yak for a distance of not less than 25 statute miles or 93 furlongs, whichever is more confusing.</fineprint>
I’ll be the Official Yes-Man.
And I won’t take-- or give-- ‘no’ for an answer.
Happy
Ooh ooh! Can I be the janitor?!? WOO HOOO!!!
If that’s taken, I’ll settle for town drunk…[sub]you can never have too many![/sub] or bartender 
Can I be Head Concubine?
I wouldn’t want all those crappy state duties…just some hot lovin’.
I’m still the bloody Prime Minister!
I call Ambassador!!!
Now send me to a country with good cheap beer, great golf courses, and warm weather.
I won’t cause any international incidents, I swear.
Imperial Empress, Ginger of the North.
As for Prince Albert, he’s very nice. I met him while he was in Calgary for the 1988 Winter Olympics.
I’ll take Minister of Education. That way I can really mess with little ones’ minds…
Fight ignorance? Hell, that’s no fun! I think it’s time for some really serious mind warping!
JOhn.
I’ll take vice-president. I don’t have to do anything, and I get paid pretty good for not doing it.
I get to be the Brute Squad!!!
I can just see it now… Fighting the Shrieking Eels! Climbing the Cliffs of Insanity on a rope!
If I only had a Holocaust Cloak, now that would be something…
O
I bags being Lex Luthor…that way, I get to rule Australia.
Not to bring up a painful subject, but I vote that, in memory of WallyM7, the national animal be the…
Gerbil. Or mouse. Whichever. :wally
I call Agent 001. Because 007 is a male.
Argent, to dexter a Hamster and to sinister a Groundhog combatant, the Groundhog coward and reguardant, both proper. And for a Crest: a Turkey giflant a Loser, both proper, issuant from the Turkey a riband Or bearing textletters sable saying “Putz.” And for a Motto: Fighting Ignorance Since 1973.
Ohohohoh, I call Guru of Personal Development.
I’ll just sit here under the chess nut tree trying to look like Buddha then…
I resign as Secret Police Chief and will become Supreme Professor of Absolute Rule 101 (ABR101) at Dopeistan U. YOU SHALL LEARN UNDER MY IRON FIST!