Part 1 - The Seduction
She whispers softly, seductively
A narcotic numbness that nullifies reason
Always stalking
hiding
Just there, in the shadows
A parasite
A vampire waiting for its prey
Patient
Then the shroud, misty and translucent, surrounds me
A spiderweb of self-doubt, guilt, shame, and loathing
Struggle makes it stick
Surrender tightens
The next step… and then another
Dragging this anchor through the muck and ichor
… and then another
A shout becomes a mumble becomes a whimper
Her smile grow fangs
Her whisper sinister
The shroud is darker, thicker, and forever
Solutions are so…few
Part 2 - The Discussion
I tell her to go
to leave me
to bother someone else with her deceits
She says, “No”
I need you
I need you to need me…
and you do.
Without me, who are you?
You define yourself through me
I am you master, your mistress, and muse
without me, what are you?
And so I succumb
Once again
Drawn in
Her embrace- cold…numb
Part 3 - The Solution?
Bang!
A lifetime of fucking things up
fixed
traded for eternity
A shimmer on a cloud
Silver?
Rain?
A glimmer of light at the end
Hope?
A train?
Stuck
Should I even bother?
Should I try?
Should I take another step?
Maybe I’ll just sink deeper into the stench
Let the shit consume me
Swallow me whole
...I just don't know.
redfrost 2/12/08