Firstly I wanted to say I’m so glad that I have you wonderful people to hear my rants and thoughts. I truly thank everyone on this board for their support for me during this rough time. I think a fundamental human need is Love, and the support I’ve received on this board really has been helpful, especially when I have a relapse.
I’m completely moved out of my old place. I’m happy to be moving forward with my life. I still seem to have moments of relapse, though thankfully they are becoming less frequent. I did have a rough night tonight. One of my best friends told me he is going to be a father. I was so happy for him, but simultaneously sad as I was hoping that would be me someday (my eyes water a bit while typing this). I know it still can be, but I seem so much farther from that goal than I used to be.
That being said, I've eaten extremely healthy this past month and lost 10 pounds. I also have been doing well in my night class despite all the drama of moving out, and my school teaching has been going well. I've visited with lots of friends, and am even chatting with a nice lady on E-harmony. Rest assured I'm not rushing into a relationship. I do realize that while I am getting better, part of me is still unstable. But you never know when the right person will come along, so I don't want to close any doors either. Also rest assured I'm not hiding anything from the new person...I told her my history tonight. I am still waiting for her reaction.
Most everyone I meet says I seem happier and more natural now that I am single again. I guess that's a sign it wasn't meant to be. Thanks again everyone for being a shoulder for me. :) I hope all your endeavors of the heart are blissful.
