As Catherine the Great waddled off through the snow with her potty, around the prostrate body of Jimmy Hoffa began to gather huge swarms of…
conga-dancing tiny lobsters. Hoffa made a huge
pot of boiling water to cook them, when…
… the tiny lobster serve Hoffer with a supena. Hoffa picks up the pot of boiling water and …
…exclaimed, “Subpoena this, crustacean-breaths!” With an evil laugh, he doused the poor, doomed lobsters to a blistering hot death.
Feeling much better now, Hoffa (who pondered how he obtained boiling water in the middle of a snowdrift in Sibera) wandered off to fulfill his misson of…
saving the Western world from…
(I meant Siberia, BTW)
… Britney Spears.
However, his plans were foiled when, in the course of his extensive and exhaustive researching, he discovered, to his great dismay, that Britney Spears was actually a…
old Mrs. Baker.
Unconvinced Old Mrs. Baker and Spears were one in the same (and still baffled as to how he was up to date on current events wilst ensconsed in a toilet for 30 years) he felt her silicone implants for …
… the secret recipes for Big Mac sauce, KFC chicken, and Coca-Cola. To his suprise, he instead felt the distinctive bulge of…
…a large wad of hundred dollar bills. He grabbed the money and…
…exclaimed, “Finally, after all these years, I have enough money to visit Graceland!!”
Hoffa jumped to his feet and, stomping through the snow, proceeded…
to the closest farm where he stole a donkey and galloped off into the sunset…except…
he was being tracked by a Siberian hamster.
Legend had it that this Siberian hamster was the reincarnation of the fictional Sherlock Holmes.
He was worried about Hoffa’s “connections”, but mainly he was worried about what he had seen Hoffa doing with Britney Spears…except he wondered: Why did HOFFA get paid?
This Siberian Hamster was no dummy, mind you; he had received many degrees from prestigious universities, such as…
TIME!
Hey! What kind of farm is in SIBERIA?? 
TIME!
I have no continuation of the story, I just wanted to interrupt the flow of words.
A Siberian hamster farm, silly. You know, farms that breed hamsters and other small rodents for, among others, certain Hollywood actors and those with similar needs.
Now on with the show…
…Heald business college and Oxford community college, where he majored in…
tracking agents who inflitrated the former USSR as sleepers, and boy was hoffa a sleeper! he also minored in sniffing, tracking and tunneling…
:eek:
Okay.
Are they meat-eating hamsters like the kind I’ve read about in the pet names thread?? OUCH!
… through snow (a course of study which was proving quite helpful at the moment!)
This Siberian Hamster’s care to conceal his pursuit of Hoffa was unnecesarry- Hoffa was preoccupied by thoughts of…