Like “What if there were no hypothetical situations?”
Got any more?
“I’m a Trump supporter.” 
(Before I get criticised, this has actually happened … and I’m in the UK.)
“Now, don’t get all defensive…”
Wanna hear about this dream I had last night?
Check out this video of my [grandkid/dog/cat/crazy neighbor/TV show]!
“I’m not racist, but…”
When will the rhetorical questions all end?
Go away.
Similarly, “No offense, but…” nobody has ever started out with that phrase and then proceeded to say something inoffensive.
Does this look infected to you?
“RAPE!”
Or
shotgun pump
“Be honest with me…”
“I heard this interesting thing on NPR earlier…”
This phrase is the header of my Divorce Decree
“I love being choked,” she whispered in my ear. True story.
“You’re Aspergers, aren’t you?”
As bad? “So, when are you due?”
When dealing with women, I generally found/find that “Hello.” shuts them right up. Or else they started screaming. Almost nothing in the middle. 
“I must be getting better. I haven’t coughed up anything for a couple of hours.”
“We need to talk.”
I am so glad this was the second post in the thread. First thing that came to my mind, seeing the headline.