Convincing your brain that you are NOT a hormonal teen anymore

Not to give too much detail, but I’ve found myself acting like a hormonal teen with a crush. It’s completely inappropriate, impossible and is really starting to annoy me.

Any thoughts on making my brain realize that we are in our 30’s and shouldn’t be going through this right now?

Hon, this doesn’t work. Your brain will tell you when the time is right. With luck this won’t happen until sometime in your eighth decade.:smiley:

It needs to move faster. The major problem is that I’ve been with someone for almost a decade and really can’t be dealing with this distraction.

I’ve been there. I didn’t snap out of it until I was confronted by a truth that hammered home to me how stupid I’d been. It crushed me, but I eventually picked myself up and moved on.

Sometimes you just have to learn the hard way.

I don’t know how my partner in crime ended up dealing with it. I have severed contact with him for the most part. That was the only way I could move on with my life.

Yeah, cutting off contact is really the only way to get your brain to settle down. In fact, I’ve found that, if I wait long enough, I can actually be around them again. You see, one thing about teen crushes (for me at least) is that they don’t last.

I think it’s easy to get whisked away into a fantasy/crush with someone that you don’t know as well as you know your significant other. Because things are new, and this person seems ‘mysterious’ or alluring, it’s easy to let your mind wander and get carried away. Even if this isn’t the case, having a friendship with someone and feeling close to them can lead to thoughts of ‘what would it be like to be with this person instead of who I’m with’.

The thing about high school type crushes, like **BigT **said, is that they don’t last. The newness wears off fairly quickly, and reality sets in. Don’t let yourself get sucked into something you can’t take back only to have reality crash in around you. It’s an unpleasant experience.

People want what they can’t have. Just remind yourself that even if you were to go after the object of your crush, you’d likely grow bored shortly after acquiring him/her.

Thanks for the input all. I guess I’ll just maintain limited to no contact and keep enumerating the reasons why this is completely ridiculous while riding out the storm. I haven’t been through this is many years and I think that’s why it’s freaking me out a bit.

I thought teen crushes were bad, is even worse when you know just how insane it is.

You’re looking at it the wrong way- it’s not insane, it’s normal. You’re a regular person, right, with feelings and complications and such? I get stupid little crushes all the time. It just means that you’re alive, and have the ability to feel things for people. I look at that as a positive. What you do with those feelings is what tells what kind of person you are.

Is it really your brain that needs this memo?

Well, knowing that I’m not a complete sociopath is a good thing. It’s just that this is so beyond any of the minor little crushes I’ve had in the past (usually over in a couple hours or a day) that it just had me a little freaked. I think it’s starting to pass…ok that’s a lie, I’m actually just trying to ignore it as much as possible.

Sorry for posting my whiny little melodrama guys, but thanks for letting me vent a bit and for giving some advice.

Dude, you had your chance when I was single. You’re going to have to get over me eventually. :smiley:

On a serious note, I went through something very similar when I was married and didn’t worry about it much because I knew the other person wasn’t into me that way. And then it started to seem like maybe she was. And then I freaked the fuck out. Ultimately, I had to take our relationship down to almost no contact, and I came to my sense after a while. But it was a rough road.

I’m wishing you the best of luck! But really, I’m taken! :wink:

ETA: Yeah, that’s right, I only have the one sense! Wanna fight about it?!

My ex-wife had a huge crush a on a co-worker of hers when we got divorced around 15 years ago and (I think) this as part of what was driving her desire to be “available”. She finally approached him, and he told her she was a friend but he had absolutely no romantic feelings for her. She was devastated.

It never ceases to amaze me re the fragile fantasy worlds people pin their hopes and dreams on.