I feel like a fourteen year old !

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I’ve been married for ten years now, I love my husband, but I’ve developed a crush on someone. He’s married also.

I see the guy about once a week, he’s not drop dead gorgeous, but I guess there’s something about him. I just don’t know what. I was attracted to him from the day I met him, and I don’t know why !

This is terrible ! Everytime I talk to him, I feel like an idiot. I don’t know what to say or how to act normally. Of course that means I just start babbling. And when he starts a conversation with me it’s even worse. I can’t ignore him, part of my duties include getting along with everone.

Why ? Why ? Why ? Do I have a crush on this guy ?

2

[Groucho mode]
You feel like a 14-year-old? I feel like an 18-year-old – undressed and in my bedroom.
[/Groucho mode]

3

So, does Mr. Crush resemble in any way (behaviorially, physically, etc) an important Former Love? Look there first, and you may find the answer.

4

Nope ! He’s tall and really attractive. It’s at a point where if I even see his name I start getting excited !

I haven’t felt this way about anyone since the 1984 version of Menuto.

5

so what ya gonna do about it?

have you ever wondered if one hot session of sheet-soiling would cure the crush and then everyhing would go back to normal?

would you even do that, being married and all?

does home-boy got the hots for you too?

tough decisions to be made, but i would say that doing nothing about it is the best course of action. the wanting is usually more fun than the having, and alot less destructive.

She said she loved me like a brother. That’s great, cause she’s from Arkansas!

6

It would’nt be this gentleman would it?

7

No, That’s not him.

I don’t think this guy has a crush on me, I’ve seen his wife, she is one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen.

It’s really nice to dream about a hot, sticky night with him though. I’ve known him for a year now and it just gets worse and worse, I just know I’m going to do something incredably stupid. He’s just real easy on the eyes, nice guy too.

8

Go see Unfaithful. That’ll creep you out of any lavascious thoughts toot sweet.

9

I agree, and [nitpick] it’s tout de suite. [/nitpick] :wink:

Personally, I think maybe you oughta talk to your hubby about it, but, it’s your call. Good luck with the crush dragongirl.

10

Some 20 or 25 years ago, I found myself in a similar position, except that I am a male, and the object of my attraction was female. One other difference was that I had no trouble talking to her; in fact, that was part of the problem. She was a very good listener and, being a co-worker, understood what I was talking about when I talked about work.

I eventually told my wife, which was a Bad Thing, but if she had heard about it from one of my other co-workers, it would have been a Worse Thing. (I didn’t have to tell my co-workers how I felt. It apparently was obvious to all of them.)

I don’t know how she felt about me, and I suppose I never will. There was one day when I might have been able to find out. She asked me to give her a ride home from work. When we got to her house, she invited me in for coffee. I declined, on the grounds that my wife was expecting me home soon, which was true. She invited me again, and I declined again. She went in her house, and I went home. I have often wondered what would have happened if I had gone in. For all I know, her husband and kids were inside, and she was expecting them to be there. But part of me will always wonder if the house was empty, and that’s the way she wanted it to be, if you know what I mean.

I believe I made the right decision. If I had gone in and her family had been there, I would have had to make embarassing small talk, and then leave. If we had been alone, I might still have had to make small talk and then leave. Or we might have been caught doing the naughty by her husband, which would have been Really, Really Bad. Or we might not have been caught, which would have put me in the position of trying to hide something from my wife that would have been very hard for me to hide.

Shortly after that, she left the company, and I have not seen her again. I heard she got a divorce. I am still happily married.

And since I did not go in her house, I can still imagine that she wanted to give me more than coffee, even though I know I am probably wrong.

Moral to this story? Oh, yeah, I was trying to tell you something that would help you. Moral: Don’t do anything you can’t undo. Remember, the wonderful guy he seems to be does not exist. If you knew him better, you would find out that he has almost all of your husband’s bad characteristics, and some other ones of his own.

11

Maybe he talks like someone you knew as a child? Or they act like someone from that
time period? I get that alot. It feels great until I remind myself of this.

12

Crushes happen. I’m not sure what advice you’re looking for as you seem to be actively toying with the notion of taking it further if he is amenable. If you cheat and your husband finds out your marriage is probably over and even if it survives it will have less trust in it.

Flip it around. If he had a crush on a co-worker how would you feel? What would you want him to do? Pursue it or say no? A crush can happen to anyone but being 14 is the privilege of teenagers not married adults. Steel yourself to tune him out and move on or tell your husband you want to see other people and let him pursue other women outside of the marriage .

13

Advice from a guy in a thirteen year old relationship:

*Crushes happen and fantasies are okay.

*Don’t tell your husband unless you want to hurt his feelings.

*Don’t cheat on your husband (assuming, that is, that you’re in a “traditional” marriage and that the two of you have “traditional” values–you know what I mean).

Surely you can control yourself around this guy if you two only see each other once a week or so, right? If you really can’t, well, then there really might be a problem.

I’ve been in situations similar to yours and I know they can really suck. I hope everything works okay for you.

14

That is, “I hope everything works out okay for you.” Sorry, it’s late.

15

Oh, I don’t have any intention of acting on my crush, it’s not worth destroying my marriage over. I’m sorry, if I gave that impression.

I’m just very confused about why I have this crush to begin with. I wasn’t looking for it, it just sort of develooped by itself. I feel like I did when I was a teenager, talking to the captain of the football team. When I said I’d do something stupid, I didn’t mean cheat on my husband, I meant really awkward and make a complete fool of myself. I would just rather not be seen as a big, giant ass and I don’t know how to return to being a normal person again.

I really don’t want to tell my husband about it, I think that would just hurt his feelings and I don’t want to do that.

Thanks though.