shazam
You now stop sneezing forever. No matter how much you try it just won’t happen. So much dust collects that you suffocate.
I wish this feud that’s started between me, EddyTeddyFreddy and Vlad Dracul would end so we can all go back to random acts of wish corrupting!
Doh!
The feud is now over, but the senseless part has just begun
I wish for the day when all the children of the world can finally get along a be politically correct.
Shabam!
All the children of the world do finally get along and are politically correct… republican children.
I wish that my house would be cleaned up when I get home today.
Dragwyr’s house has been cleaned up – by the simple expedient of it being cleaned out by thieves.
I wish that a mutual friend would set me up on a date with a certain lawyer turned used car saleswoman (whom I met briefly in the middle of last year).
puffpuffpooooof
This is your lucky day, Dragwyr! In a heartfelt effort to end their feud and play nice, nocturnal_tick, Vlad Dracul and ETF have teamed up to clean your house.
Too bad they got into a huge screaming fight about who got to use the vacuum cleaner first, and who had to do the toilet. You return to find a house that’s been cleaned, then splattered all over with tick juice, tufts of orange fur, and smears of VERY old blood that refuses to congeal.
I wish someone else would do my work today so I could play instead.
fownt
A mutual friend sets Scuba_Ben up on a date with a certain lawyer turned used car saleswoman. Unfortunately, Scuba_Ben is already on another date with someone else. There is schedule confusion. The two dates do not ‘meet cute’, and after some argument and in spite of Scuba_Ben’s protests, both dates depart angrily.
Scuba_Ben is dateless.
I wish I could wake up on time.
Squeege
Sunspace wakes up on time… and subsequently has to go to the chiropractor because that stopwatch in the center of your back night after night is becoming quite painful.
I wish there was no diseases in the world.
Sunspace wakes up on time, goes in to work, and gets handed all of EddyTeddyFreddy’s work. ETF, in turn, gets caught playing hookey and is downsized as a slacker. ETF never gets a job in this town again!
I wish for OpalCat to make an appearance in this thread.
(Sunspace, are you sure you weren’t arranging my social calendar last week?)
Riiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnngggg
Sunspace, you wake up on time, all right.
You wake up on top of Big Ben, in a pea-soup fog, with no idea of how you got there or, more to the point, how you’re going to get down. The fog muffles your cries for help, and you’re not found until you’re a mummified corpse, arms forever spread out at 10 to 7:00.
I still wish someone else would do my work today so I could play instead.
Poof
Somone has assumed your duties for the day at your work. You get to play all day. When you go back to work, you find that your replacement did such a horrible job, that they decided to downsize your position out of existance. You are now jobless.
I still wish there were no diseases in the world.
:smack:
Dragwyr, there are no more diseases in the world! A heartfelt thank you from all the nations of the globe goes out to you, the noble soul who has volunteered to carry every disease known to mankind from now on! Since the process that inserted all the diseases into you has as a side effect made you immortal, you get to suffer all the symptoms, all the time – and never be cured!
ScubaBen, here comes OpalCat – and boy, is she STILL steamed about that dating mixup! Maybe you should head for the exit – fast?
Okay, so I got caught playing hookey and fired. I wish I’d walk right into a better job and could go back to my boss and sneer in triumph.
wakaboomching
you walk into the best job ever but unfortunately for you your boss is dead preventing you from sneering in triumph
i wish i could have a day off tomorow without any consequences (and id like to be awake and alive for it and not crippled etc etc.)
EddyTeddyFreddy gets the worlds first ‘sneer-o-gram’ job. Your first assignment is a singing ‘sneer-o-gram’ to your previous boss. The money is good, but you have to write your own ‘snee-o-gram’ lyrics.
I wish that the toilets at work would never get blocked.
^^VOWMP^
The toilets at work never get blocked. In fact, they’re always flushing. They’re now connected to miniature black holes that greedily accept anything and everything thrown at them. Septic waste is the least of it.
In a very short while, the black holes have cleared the toilet bowls of water. Air from the building starts to flow through to them. The heat, light, and radiation from the infalling matter weakens the toilets, and they crumble and fall in. The radiation now illuminates the washrooms; a brilliant glare floods underneath their doors.
By this time people know something is up. They try to escape the building. Some make it, but by this time, the holes have taken so much air from inside the building that the pressure is way down, Exiting through the onrushing winds at the doors is difficult.
There is a flare. The weakened washroom walls collapse and are gobbled by the black holes. The harsh light now floods the whole building. Windows break, and the inrushing air becomes a hurricane. Cars trees, and pedestrians are pulled inwards.
The building starts to collapse inwards. The radiation increases. It is far too late for rescue, or even panic. Fires start at distance from the site of the building, and burn fiercely in the winds, but the winds keep them from spreading outwards.
Beneath the site of the building, the black holes are digging downwards. Rock is crushed and heated to incandescence and beyond. The neighbourhood slumps into the growing crater, and the glare dims as the black holes themselves sink downwards into the melted rock and are covered, still gobbling.
In a few hours, the black holes reach the Earth’s mantle. The trail of disruption they’ve created serves as a pathway for an energetic magma flow, and the area becomes the site of a major new volcano.
And that’s just the beginning.
I wish I was rich.
Bofffaaaazamboni!
You are now rich, Rich Hall in fact.
Gaah! Second time I forgot to wish.
I wish my cats would not shed, but still have fur. (so no cheap ‘bald cats’ corruption)
I wish Mr. Miskatonic had made a wish.
Poof! Your cats’ fur just keeps growing and growing until they look like little moldy spider plants. As a matter of fact, where their fur hits the floor, more cats sprout.
I wish I could have thought of a better corruption wish.
wwwwwwwwwwishhhhhhhhhhhh
misstee your wish has already been granted but unfortunately for you Mr. Miskatonic’s cats shedding has now moved onto you. As for Mr. Miskatonic, his cats no longer shed and continue growng fur until they become giant balls of fluff.
I wish for a better name than nocturnal_tick. I’m want something a bit fresher.
ZOT
nocturnal_tick is now known as something_fresher. Persistent jokes about “getting fresh” drive you crazy(ier). The boys in white coats come and take you away to the funny farm. You suffer through two years (!) without access to the SDMB.
BigDaiv has the whole day off to watch nocturnal_tick get taken off to the asylum. He goes to visit em that same day. The guards are not properly notified of the visit, and release nocturnal_tick, leaving BigDaiv locked in the padded room. Oops!
I wish to repeal the color yellow.