Supercalifragilisticixthalidosish!
You are now the Pillsbury Doughboy (you know, Popin’fresh
I wish my friend coming to vist for Thanksgiving could stay longer.
Your friend has suffered a viagra overdose, if your friend was of the female persuasion she has also had a sex change. He can stay longer for a very long time, which could be fun, but one end of the Thanksgiving dinner table keeps raising nine inches higher than the other end, and this proves very difficult to explain to your other guests.
I wish I knew what to get my Nephew and Niece for Christmas.
Gazzzzzort
ScubaBen, the color yellow has been duly repealed and banished from the visible spectrum. Unfortunately – ah, you just knew there’d be a catch, eh? – the gap in the spectrum has been filled with the color grivvot – a hue which strikes those who see it mute and mad. Since our now-grivvot-colored sun pours unlimited rays of that color down upon the Earth, the human population goes mad and expires, and only animals that are colorblind in that part of the spectrum survive to begin evolving toward another go at intelligence. Maybe this time the winner will have more common sense.
picunurse, your friend can stay longer. Much longer. In fact, you now have a permanent house guest – who never cleans up after him/herself. And just look at the phone bill!
Bippy, your nephew and niece are no trouble to buy for at Christmas, no trouble at all. That’s because before then you’ve gone bankrupt, robbed a bank in desperation for food money, been caught and sentenced to the slammer, and now have all the facilities of the prison workshop to turn out handmade gifts for them! Think they’d like a nice, tasteful license plate?
I wish that beggars could ride.
bang
you know exactly what to get your niece and nephew but unfortunately you cant get it insert reason here
i wish for my earlier, ignored wish
- A la 3 Cheese Hamburger Helper! *
You get your previously ignored wish, BigDaiv, but tomorrow never comes. You’re caught in a 24 time-loop a la Groundhog Day. And today has been the worst day of your life, what with the paternity suit, the flaming car wreck, you burnt your cereal this morning, and God said he doesn’t like you after all.
I wish I had another Pepsi.
Neenerneenerneeeeeeener
BigDaiv, your wish is granted. You can have tomorrow off, with no consequences – no crippling, no annoying hitches like death.
You can have the next day off, too. The whole month. In fact, the rest of your life, as the world economy has suddenly collapsed because the Planet Zorgram has sent emissaries to Earth bearing perpetual motion energy generators and matter transformers, in a misguided attempt to ease poverty on this planet. Instead, the entire world economic structure has imploded, and Earth’s inhabitants have been reduced to idle, aimless wanderers.
I wish bananas stayed at their peak of ripeness longer.
*** whirrr * click * buzz * thip * crinkle * spoit ***
EddyTeddyFreddy spends the rest of eir life giving rides to beggars. E also gets bananas that stay ripe for a full week, and therefore attract EVERY fruit fly in the area after three days.
Horseflesh gets a two-year-old can of Pepsi. Ick!
I wish they all could be California girls.
fnnnnnnnnBING!
Suddenly, they can all be california girls. But they choose not to.
I wish I could teleport myself to work instead of taking the bus or driving.
[sub]Kudos on the non-gender-specific third-person singular pronoun, Scuba_Ben![/sub]
Wananaowwwwww
Unfortunately you hit the wrong switch, cause a temporal rift, and are brutally uncreated. (Ever played The Journeyman Project?)
I wish I could have someone with a 200 IQ take all my final exams for me this year.
<bzzzzt flappity-flappity>
You have the power to teleport yourself to work. Unfortunately, the time required for complete subatomic reintegration is six hours.
I wish I had more time to visit the SMDB.
IDOJ Blink
Someone with a 200 IQ takes all your exams, but you score perfectly on every one and you are taken away to be studied. You spend all your days taking tests and getting brain x rays. The x rays ultimitely damage your mind and you end up in an insane asylum on an uncharted island.
I wish I had the perfect complexion.
– side note, I am here in California. I guarantee that you really don’t wish they all could be California girls. Like, wow, whatever … –
E=-~~~~-=3
Sunspace is catapulted 3000 years into the future, and can now teleport to work every day. Unfortunately the only job eir is qualified for is replacing the shells in public rest rooms.
I wish I didn’t have to make a wish.
Bippy the Beardless you don’t have to make a wish ever again, in fact, you CAN’T make a wish ever again. Unfortunately you spend the rest of your life thinking of really amazing wishes to make.
I wish the man I’m currently obsessed with was here.
Yep zephyrine, he’s [beatles]Here, There and Everywhere.[/beatles] Which is when you discover that he’s been here, there and everywhere and done this that and everything. And as you look at him here you can’t escape the mental image of a warm toilet seat – perhaps more comfortable, but you wonder who last made contact… ::shudder::
I wish for sublime creativity.
Yep zephyrine, he’s [beatles]Here, There and Everywhere.[/beatles] Which is when you discover that he’s been here, there and everywhere and done this that and everything. And as you look at him here you can’t escape the mental image of a warm toilet seat – perhaps more comfortable, but you wonder who last made contact… ::shudder::
I wish for sublime creativity.
Ping-carom-pong
zephyrine, the man you’re currently obsessed with is indeed here! Too bad he totally ignores you, as he has eyes only for:
BellaDellaItalia, and her perfect complexion! But alas, our lovely Bella has let the perfection of her countenance go to her head, as it were, and is now demanding that:
j_sum1 use his sublime creativity to create the perfect cosmetics to grace her perfect skin.
In a fit of rage at having his amazing gifts so trivialized, j_sum1 flings his palette of unguents and powders at the proud beauty’s face. Since she has simultaneously stooped to tie up her slipping garter, the fragrant mess soars over her head and whomps into the eyes of zephyrine’s current obsession.
The obsession shrieks with mingled rage and pain, and begins flailing wildly, knocking Bella into a nearby vat of acid which scars her skin for life. zephyrine can’t help laughing triumphantly, which so offends her obsession that, as he stomps out of her life forever, he casts a curse upon her of eternal unrequited love for losers who use and abuse her.
Meanwhile, j_sum1 discovers that the palette he’d so thoughtlessly flung away was the magic talisman that unleashed his creativity – and alas! It’s fallen into the vat of acid too. He scrabbles desperately after it, ruining his hands, but the half-dissolved remnant he’s able to salvage leaves him with no more artistic ability than a knack for doing awkward copies of Slug Signorino’s cartoons.
The End
I wish my cats would dust the house for me.
Zimbriski! Your cats dust the house for you- but they now demand a housekeeper’s salary.
I wish that I selected every member of the U.S. Congress…
zing!
misstee’s legs disappear
zing!
Two prosthetic legs appear in their places. No more razor!
I wish for an everlasting gobstopper.
Whoops… I guess that wasn’t the final page. :smack:
I still wish for an everlasting gobstopper though. 
Kazoowie
Well your gobstopper will not quite last forever, but will come close. It will certainly outlast you. Do you have any idea just how huge a gobstopper needs to be to sustain a lifetime of continuous licking? It won’t fit in any ordinary rooms. And it is so dense that it can’t be broken. And so weighty it breaks the concrete where ever you roll it. (Which is a little expensive. As is paying for storage of the big sucker.) Of course you could speed things up by slobbering over it more regularly with the intent of reducing its size, but you will die of sugar saturation long before you make any appreciable impression on it.
Too bad.
I wish that Eva Cassidy was still alive and recording more great music. (Truly, I do.)