OK, ** j_sum1**, Eva’s back, and recording beautiful music. Unfortunately, she’s found out you brought her to life, and she’s moved into your house, and you’re sleeping on the couch. Your grocery bill just doubled, and she likes expensive shoes, and running the vanity record label you founded to put out her constant albums is bankrupting you. But you’ve got some nice new music.
I want a wallet that constantly replenishes cash.
Oh wow! Spurious George, that would be just wonderfull!! I’m sure that with a bit of marketing her albums would make a killing.
And anyway, I could always steal your wallet that constantly replenishes cash.
I wish that all of Cecil’s brilliance was directed at making the SMDB hamsters work faster.
gigglypop
In an effort to increase the power of the SDMB, Cecil commands the hamsters to work faster. Unfortunately, the wheels are poorly maintained due to poor funding and tens of thousands of hamsters and cages collapse on Cecil killing him instantly. :eek:
I wish for my own personal smiley.
I wish for my own personal smiley
You have recieved your own personal smiley, but unfortunantly it was tatooed on your rear end. In your excitement to show everyone you are arrested for indecent exposure and sentenced to 5 years in prison, where you desperatly try to hide your own personal smiley from everyone.
I wish for free music for everyone
Kapiff! Everyone now has free music, as there is now a marching band in every home.
I still wish I controlled every member of the US Congress…
**Governor Quinn** now controls every memeber of Congress, while working as a private hooker to each and every memeber **Governor Quinn** memeber is able to bend their ears.
I wish my meeting today will get over on time.*Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"
misstee’s meeting today does indeed get over in time due to your sudden heart attack. Have fun in the emergency room
I wish that I could draw really cool comic book characters.
Thanks! Agora Nomic has taught me the usefulness of Spivak pronouns (e, eir, and em).
Back to this game…
*** ALAKAZAM! ***
Dragwyr’s comic book character drawings are so cool, the sketches can only be kept in a freezer. The drawings melt in seconds once removed from the freezer. So they can never be shown to anybody.
I wish several Dopers join Agora Nomic and learn to use Spivak pronouns.
You get half your wish, S_B, as many, many Dopers join Agora Nomic. In their zeal they wind up only promoting the SDMB and convert the entire organization and every Spivak pronoun user into rabid posters on this message board. The last remaining hamster explodes from the sudden workload, the Commodore 128 that runs this board melts, the Chicago Reader falls, Cecil’s out of a job, and world ignorance becomes commonplace. Dopers are reviled out of hand and must resort to dopefests held in caves or remote mountaintops. Geez, thanks buddy, we all appreciate it.
I wish I had a kitten.
polymorphicgenisis
Horseflesh has a kitten, this proves extremely interesting to the delivery staff at the hospital (especially so if Horseflesh is of masculine designation.).
I wis… , I w…schh, darn…
I want to have a good time.
polymorphicgenisis
Horseflesh has a kitten, this proves extremely interesting to the delivery staff at the hospital (especially so if Horseflesh is of masculine designation.).
I wis… , I w…schh, darn…
I want to have a good time.
You have the time of your life, Bippy. For the next 60 seconds only. The following 60 years is a dark, miserable, pointless existence for you as you wish in vain for another good time. You suddenly get your wish again, this time lasting exactly 59 seconds whereupon you spontaneously combust while shopping for the perfect crunchy dill pickle.
I wish the next poster wouldn’t corrupt my wish.
pffffth
The next poster did not corrupt your wish. Your daughter was another matter.
I wish Ann Colter would get laid.
Abraca-pocus!
The next poster does not corrupt your wish but unwillingly and unwittingly corrupts your hard drive. It seems now that no matter what you try, any keystroke brings up pornographic material which would make Ron Jeremy blush.
I wish I could get rid of these infernal lice…
< A sulfurous essence pervades around the grassy dell > {Fish}
You get rid of the infernal lice, but it requires a full exorcism. The infernal powers that be are not happy and decide to infect you with infernal hedgehogs to replace the lice.
I wiszzz… , I worshhh…, damn it.
I would like a three sided quadrilateral please.
Fine bippy, you have a 3-sided quadrilateral…down there (ahem, cough, penis, cough)
I wish i could eat anything. Anything!
And Lo, you can, however this comes with the desire to put this to the test, you attempt to eat anything AND EVERYTHING. Soon you eat so much your stomach explodes showring the scenary with your guts.
I wish I was sane.
Kawhonga
The_Immortal_Mango is sane! So crystalline clear is his sanity that, as he looks back upon the follies of his life to date, he is driven mad by the horror of it all, and is locked away in the looney bin for the rest of his nasty, brutish and short life.
fwrt
BJMoose, your wish is granted! Ann Coulter indeed gets laid.
By you. Bwa-hahahahahahaha!!!
I wish EddyTeddyFreddy had stated his wish to pervert, but since he didn’t I’m going to steal it and wish twice!
I wish I could level London and create my Iron Palace over its ruins,.
BONGGGGGG
The_Immortal_Mango has leveled London. His mighty Iron Place looms over the silent ruins.
Until ETF’s belated wish for World Domination™ is granted, and she evicts Mango in order to reign there instead.
Mango gets pissed. Gets pisser drunk. In revenge, takes a monstrous piss upon the sole gate into the palace, which rusts shut, leaving ETF to die of starvation.
But Mango, having leveled London, can’t find a hardware store from which to buy a cutting torch in order to regain access to the palace, and he dies on its doorstep, a broken and embittered old man.
I wish I had a Snickers bar right now.