Schwiiiiiiing
You are now the butt-double of Mel Gibson in his newest film, but the film turns out to be one of Hollywood’s biggest flops due to the fact that your butt LOOKS NOTHING LIKE HIS whatsoever.
I wish my penis was one inch longer.
Rrrrrring ding-a-ding
Your penis is now one inch longer, unfortunately that inch had to come from somewhere and now it’s as thin as spagetti!
I wish I was a CSI.
- hoooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWllllll *
You are now a popular TV show! The studio makes several spin-offs of you, as other studios make a zillion knock-offs. The market gluts, and in a few years you are cancelled and forgotten.
My last wish didn’t go through right, so this time I wish for a bowl of tasty dried fruits.
Boo-yah!
You are now a Chronically Slow Imbecile.
I wish unicorns were real.
Apparently, I am the chronically slow imbecile.
XYZZY
Scuba_Ben gets a bowl of tasty dried fruits… that have been perfectly preserved in formaldihide.
Sproing
Blackdragon gets his wish as well and there are now exactly 2 of them. They immediately get hunted down and killed to extinction.
I wish my house to be paid off completely, today, with money that was not stolen or obtained by anything that was illegal.
ZZGO
Dragwyr’s house is paid off completely – at a sherrif’s sale, after the bank has foreclosed on eir mortgage. Dragwyr now has to live on the street.
Tough luck, dude. You can always dream of moving up to living in a cardboard box.
I wish Blackdragon is an occasionally fast savant.
harrrrrumphhhh
Blackdragon becomes (occasionally) a fast savant, but only in the middle of the night when the rest of Doperdom is in bed and there is no one but the hamsters to read his scintillating essays.
The things I do for my country.
I wish someone would come over and clean my house.
<>shaboonky<>
Little old Mrs. Dewblebuhm comes over to clean your house. Unfortunately she is very very slow, and takes three hours just to dust your living room. The poor old dear also farts every few minutes.
I want to be served medium rare or rare, in a nice pepper sauce, with roast new potatoes baby carrots and sugar snap peas.
pouf!
Bippy the Beardless is served potatoes, carrots, and snap peas, all in a pepper sauce – rarely, by a medium. At least dinner includes a free seance. Too bad the spirits already told the medium that you’re a lousy tipper.
I wish for a sexy redhead (that’s a bit redundant, IMHO) SJF, intelligent and 30ish.
<>shaboonky<>
Little old Mrs. Dewblebuhm comes over to clean your house. Unfortunately she is very very slow, and takes three hours just to dust your living room. The poor old dear also farts every few minutes.
I want to be served medium rare or rare, in a nice pepper sauce, with roast new potatoes baby carrots and sugar snap peas.
<Genii looks up his acronym finder, hmmm SJF,… Single Jawa Female, that’ll do >
Scuba_Ben you find the love of your life, though she is only 3 foot tall and smells of Bantha doo-doo, you are hers, and she is yours forever. You don’t get invited to many social events any more, but the pair of you are allways well received at sci-fi conventions.
I want to shoot the hamster that caused my last double post.
- Whiffleball! *
The hamster has been shot. It was the last hamster and has been replaced by…a herring! The boards cruise along at half speed since the exercise wheel isn’t exactly designed to accomodate a flopping, thrashing herring. Dopers around the world spam your mailbox in their gratitude.
I wish that someone I care about would recover completely.
Bippy, I will not do the obvious corrupt wish here and have the SDMB go down due to the hamster being shot.
Sooo…
KerSchplat
You shoot the hamster that caused your last double post, but instead of killing it, you have missed it completely and accidentally killed it’s brother. It now wants revenge and calls the rabbit from “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” to hunt you down and rip your throat apart.
[Pauses for a moment to look around and admire the good in the world that has been done by this thread.]
Wow. I can’t think of anything to wish for. I wish for somone to wish something for me.
Horseflesh
Snort
Somone you care about does recover completely… only to get run over by a truck.
I still wish for somone to wish something for me.
BLAM!
You shoot the hamster with your 9mm pistol. The shot is so powerful, it kills all the other hamsters that run the board. The bullet then ricochets into the server. The SDMB crashes beyond all hope of recovery. The backups can’t be brought online because there are no hamsters to power a replacement server. 20,000 Dopers suffer withdrawal symptoms, and 6452 of them never have any Human contact ever again. In a quirk of fate, you’re one of those 6452. Nice knowing you, Bippy/
I wish to be immune to decompression illness. (That’s the bends and arterial gas embolysms.)
urk
Horseflesh’s friend is now fully recovered and I can’t bring myself to hurt them any more.
Sooooooooooo…
While walking down the street, safe in the knowledge that their friend is safe, Horseflesh fails to notice Dragwyr who, admiring the good in the world, has slipped from his window and lands on top of Horseflesh, with hilarious consequences!
I wish to know what those hilarious consequences are.
Okay, so I DID do the obvious corruption of Bippy’s wish. Now I’ve got to clean up the simulgrants.
Dragwyr, you get the Single Jawa Female that Bippy gave me. She wishes to meet a Single Male Jawa.
I still wish to be immune to DCI.
Poof SCuba Ben is now immune to DCI. Drum Corps International. He will no longer ever hear or see the Glory of Phantom Regiment or any of the other drum and bugle corps.
I wish that I could move things with my mind.
<> a-la-Terry-Pratchet <>
You can now move anything you want with your mind, unfortunately due to the physical law of equal and opposite forces every time you move something with your mind, your mind (and brain) is pushed with an equal force. YOu have to be very careful not to try and move anything heavier than a pencil or your brain will be levered out of your left ear hole.
I would like to be a lumberjack.