Oh, that’s nice, Bippy. If only you had wished to be a lumberjack… 
I wish that every time I opened my wallet, there would be a brand new, legal tender, United States of America Mint $100 bill, while leaving the rest of my wallet, its contents and my other financial interests unaffected.
– Now that’s just mean, first I’m not allowed to wisch…weesh…<darn it> then I’m Alien cooked steak, and now I can’t even would like to be –
Well mambozzy every time you open your wallet there is a brand new mint $100 bill in it, unfortunately the bill is peper-mint and no bank will take it even though it is quite tender and not an illegal mint.
I weesh …, I wursh …
I want to be able to make wshes again, and I don’t mean washes or whooshes, I want wshes where * is substituted for I, or else things will get pretty nasty arround hear let me tell you.
POOT!!
Congrats! You can make wishes again. However, you suffer as a modern-day Cassandra because nobody actually believes that you can make wishes.
I wish, without limiting anything I may wish to study, my education at the school I’m currently attending was tuition-free.
crump
mambozzy, your education is now tuition-free. Unfortunately, due to a bureaucratic mishap, you have been reassigned to another school in another location. Good luck with the distance learning from Antarctica!
I wish I could learn any language in a week.
blink
You can now learn any language in a week, but that is the only language you can speak all week, so you develop the habit of moving to a different country every monday.
I wish this guy I met at work would ask me out.
Poof Sunspace can learn any language she wants in a week. However, she can only retains command of the dirty words. She can say cum-farts in 96 languages and counting.
(I love the way my wish was granted Bippy.)
I wish this wish wasn’t corrupted.
DAng, I meant to say “In a few years, she can say cum-farts in 96 languages.” Oh well.
Back to BellaDellaItalia since she beat me in.
Your wish is granted. He asks you out over the phone and you guys go out. He brings you a lovely corsage to wear on the date similar to what high school kids bring to proms. You find out he is a 38 year old virgin and really grabby. When he went to kiss you goodnight, his breath was so bad it wilted the corsage. You finally realized why he asked you out over the phone as you threw up from the smell.
Tinkle-tinkle-tink
OK, it wasn’t corrupted. It was granted in exactly the form you wished it. But you think it was corrupted somehow and will be bitter about it for the rest of your life.
I wish I was Batman.
bl!nk
You are Batman, but in the “New Adventures of Batman and Robin,” where the Joker is working for al Qaida, you aren’t allowed to use any vehicle that begins with bat due to new safety regulations and all your other bat-equipment is impossible to get through airport security.
I wish I was a cowgirl.
<< mmmoooooooooeeeeooooo >>
You are a cow-girl, a bovine lycanthrope. Once a month on a full moon you turn into a prize Jersy Cow. At least you get lots of free dairy products, and the lawn is well kept.
I wish I was a lumberjack.
<<<poof>>>
You are a lumberjack…The lumberjack in the Monty Python song. You saw all night and chop all day. And your flannel shirt itches like mad.
I wish I could go on a date with Taye Diggs.
dorkusmalorkusmafia, I’m a she now? I’m going to have to update my picture in the picture thread… 
BellaDellaItalia, you are now a cowgirl. In fact, you look like the wife that the Minotaur wishes he had. You cause panic in the streets. You find it difficult to buy clothing cut for your mammalian glands, and no-one ever forgets your eating habits once they see them.
I wish I had a car.
Crud.
fling!
Angel Heart, you can now go on a date with Taye Diggs. However, mere ability to date means nothing, as Taye’s actions in the courtroom make it insultingly and embarrasingly quite clear that the date will not occur. 
I wish I had a car.
PaSlaikah
Say hello to your well-used Yugo!. Tires will be extra and the previous owner felt that oil changes were a government sponsered conspiracy. The smoke that comes out when its running shouldn’t be very toxic though. Enjoy!
I wish the cars would stop parking in the bike lane.
woppellydoopellydoo
Cars stop parking in the bike lane after all the bike lanes are moved to a single bike width lane in the center of every road.
I wish I could wear whatever I want to work.
That was one of the side effects of your wish. Mwuahahah!
Shazam! Bippy can now wear whatever he wants to work since his job finally approved home-officing. However, This also included cameras that watch you constantly placed throughout your house to make sure you actually work. And those times that you went to the computer naked and had some nookie with the spouse were put on the internet by a disgruntled employee who was assigned to watch all the “at-home” employees.
Oh I make a wish, oh I make a wish for a potato. (Bonus points if you can name the band.)
Google says it’s the Holy Modal Rounders. Ok so I cheated.
kerplatch!!!
The potato wanted you to wish it into a field all by itself. All the other potatos were crowding it.
I wish I had a magically refilling bowl of chocolate ice cream.
[sub]ipple[/sub]
You have a magically-refilling bowl of chocolate ice cream. As the ice cream is renewed, the average temperature the area drops. Soon, enough ice cream has appeared that the whole neighbourhood is below freezing.
Snow falls as warm air from surrounding areas hits the dome of subzero air over your ice cream. The snow mixes with the ever-growing mass of ice cream.
A chocolate glacier destroys 37% of your country.
I wish I was blond.
–sorry - blond joking ahead …
Sunspace you are blond, in fact you are so blond that you don’t even notice that your hair changed color. But that doesn’t matter because you can’t remamber what it was you wished for anyway.
Working from home seems to be going well, but …
I wish people wouldn’t look at me strangely whenever I pop into the office for meetings.
fwap
Bippy, people do stop looking at you strangely whenever you pop into the office for meetings. Now they just call security.
I wish I didn’t have to drive into a snowstorm on my vacation trip tomorrow.