They no longer look at you strangely when you go to meetings, instead, they call security, who throw you out with a minimum of fuss.
I wish that the Yankees and Lakers would lose every game nexy season…
- Snootchie Bootchies! *
EddyTeddyFreddy doesn’t have to drive into a snowstorm tomorrow! Vacation has been canceled and the snowstorm has been brought to your front door. You are doomed to shovel your front walk for the rest of your life.
The Yankees and Lakers lose every game next season, mostly because they’re playing full contact tennis and neither team has practiced at all. It’s usually just a huge mess of tangled bodies and rackets.
I wish I could have another night like tonight with someone special.
Ok then, POOOFF: you can now read people’s minds, but sadly your mind can also be read by others and all of your family reject you 'cos of secrets, also your partner and everyone else you know deserts you:P
I wish I could go back in time and see on of the Beatles concerts live!!
Zubrewsk! You’ve gone back in time to see the concert, alright- but now you can’t go forward.
I wish that I held the rank of Field Marshal…
dingus
You now hold the rank of Field Marshal, but unfortunately you gave it to yourself. You sit in a dark basement all alone, in a poor fitting uniform playing Risk[tm] and giving inspirational speeches to inch-high plastic figures.
I still wish for the hilarious consequences of my wish granting!!!
Or if not that I wish my english teacher was not here today.
rikkitikkitavi
Horseflesh has another night JUST like last night: Alone.
nocturnal_tick collapses in hilarioius laughter at Horseflesh’s frustrated antics.
I wish to know the Ultimate Joke (tm, Monty Python). With my dry sense of humor, I might have some resistance to it.
- A la fish & chips! *
Scuba_Ben finds the Ultimate Joke…in the crotch of his pants. This is closely followed by the Ultimate Expression of Horror and the Ultimate Embarassment.
I wish it was at least 20 degrees warmer outside, but no less than 30 degrees warmer.
Err, that would be “no more than 30 degrees warmer”. :smack:
The good news: It’s 25 degrees warmer outside where Horseflesh is at.
The bad news: The warmth is from Minax’s fiery daemons, who escaped Ye Time of Legends through the moongates. They’re now right outside where you’re at!
Will our Stalwart Hero escape from this latest peril? Tune in next time on Ultima II: Revenge of the Enchantress!
I wish for a good port of Ultima IV into a modern massively multiplayer online first-person shooter game.
zotti
You get a good, nay excellent, port of Ultima IV into a modern massively multiplayer online first-person shooter game, but since no one knows what the hell you’re talking about you have to play it all by yourself. (You do rack up some nice scores, though.)
I wish I was in Dixie.
- ala bravo cecil! *
You are a player in Dixie, the latest massively multiplayer online role-playing game, based in the Old South, pre-Civil War. Because you don’t know what an MMORPG is, let alone what to do in one, your character keeps getting lynched by everybody.
I wish to replace the SDMB’s hampsters with instant coffee grounds. Let’s see if anybody notices…
Hooray Hooray. In Dixie land you took your stand to live and die in Dixie, oh way down south in Dixie.
I like making wishes for a potato. However, I wish my lunch will consist of a most delicious baked potato.
– Semprinni –
BJMoose (does the BJ stand for what I think it does?) Is in Dixie, in fact in all three Dixie Chicks at the same time. They invited you up to their hotel room after a concert they put on in your honor. Unfortunately they are all space Aliens and you are sushi.
I wish my penis was prehensile.
- A la multiple orgasms! *
Combining wishes, dorkusmalorkusmafia gets the world’s best baked potato…served on Bippy’s prehensile penis. Unfortunately for BtB, dorkus has 7 inch fangs and a bite strength that will snap steel beams.
I wish I could lasso the moon and bring it closer.
:: nonchalant wave of the hand ::
Horseflesh lassos the Moon – at the same time as Bruce, from Bruce Almighty. The two get into a cosmic game of Tug-of-War. Their struggle dislodges the Eagle from Mare Tranquilitas, which falls to Earth and lands right on top of Bart Sibrel, killing him instantly. Horseflesh is so astonished at this beneficial side effect of eir wish, that e loses the Tug-of-War match. Bruce drags away the Moon.
I still wish to replace the SDMB’s hampsters with instant coffee grounds.
folj!
The SDMB’s hamsters are replaced with instant coffee grounds. The boards grind to a halt. The coffee grounds still smell of coffee, though: their bitter brown fragrance attracts legions of star-nosed moles. The moles criss-cross the server room looking for the source of the smell. They find it in the ex-hamsters’ power-transduction (“exercise”) wheels, and, being moles, they sink their little noses into it and start digging. The wheels start to turn. The moles become excited by the remaining caffeine. The wheels turn faster. Soon the SDMB is back to normal, and even better.
A week later, an army of royally-pissed hamster relatives corner Scuba_Ben in a dark alley, and he suffers a horrible fate.
I wish I had a good car.
Sunspace has a good car. Good in the year 1930.
I wish I was a multi-platinum mtv-award-winning female rapper.
Kabooom
You are a multi-platinum mtv-award-winning female rapper.
But because you have been shaking your ass all day long for years and years you get an incurable backinjury, paralysed to the waiste downl, getting you in a wheelchair and a plastic bag with yellow substance next to it.
I wish I could get BellaDellaItalia in bed (not for sleeping)
POW
You now have BellaDellaItalia in bed, however, it turns out that BellaDellaItalia is the illuminaty’s term for sleeping with the fishes, you are never heard from again.
I want to be the world’s greatest tuba player.
Ding-a-ling, done!
You are now the world’s greatest tuba player, and the cornerstone of the most popular polka band in the tiny, formerly East German town of Forst, right on the Polish border.
And your band pays you in pilsner.
I wish the roads in New Jersey were free of potholes and ruts.