France enacts a law against femine body hair (heads and pubes excepted). The good news: resulting fines make France the richest country in the universe and they stop whining for a few days. The bad news: many women resent this intrusion into their personal lives and leave the country. Belgium being nearby, most go there. In three weeks you find yourself sharing a building with 83 hairy French women, none of whom know how to parley vouz.
I wish GWB would misplace his passport and be detained for an indefinite term by British immigration officials.
It looks like I find true happiness at the bottom of a well, what the heck was true happiness doing at the bottom of a well anyway?
Target Greatland near your home isn’t so getto anymore, because the people living their have all been evicted. They also found out who caused that to happen, and they are now living in your home, and aint happy about what you did.
I wish I knew what this ‘true happiness’ is doing at the bottom of this well. And can someone lend me a ladder so I can get out of this well, please.
Here’s your ladder, Bippy. Careful now that you’re at the top because
OOOOPS!
I guess I should have told you about the lava pit before you climbed up, huh? But at least now you know why true happiness for you was at the bottom of that well rather than the top.
I wish my car never slides into a ditch this winter.
you car never slides into a ditch this winter because it has been reposessed on the grounds that you didnt pay your petrol bills, so you now have to cycle to work however your bike slides into a ditch
i wish for a monkey with an iq of 100 and who is willing to rid me of my sister.
You inherit a monkey with an iq of 100, who rids you of your sister and, incedentaly wears roller skates, a derby, and smokes cigars. The only problem is that the monkey is more popular than you and your family and friends favor the monkey to your company. Even on the Strraight Dope message boards, the monkey becomes BigDaiv.
You have a monkey with an IQ of 100, who is willing to rid you of your sister.
Your sister is emthralled by the monkey’s intelligence, cunning, and sheer animal power. She runs away with him.
After a world-famous court case in The Hague, the monkey is declared a citizen, co-equal with humans, and with all the rights and responsibilities of that status. Your sister willingly marrys him. They make a fine couple, advancing research in genetic engineering, winning two Nobel Prizes, and ultimately leaving a great charitable foundation.
She never has time for you again. You die of loneliness and neglect.
I wish that cheque promised to me was in my hands.
Homework done. The monkey with an iq of 100 (from a previous post) completed it speedily. You spend the night out drinking and dancing in celebration, sleep in tomorrow and miss the chance to turn it all in.
You got all your homework done, but you did it by copying off the internet. You avoid getting expelled from school though, since in your rush you copied a Sponge Bob Square Pants slash fiction sight by misstake.
I wish this pit of molten lava wasn’t quite so hot, I’m really starting to sweat buckets down here.
<Genii, scratching head looks up demise in the dictionary…
hmmm 1 law a transfer of estate by lease, esp. for a fixed period…
Genii quickly phones up her legal department, jabba-jabba-jabba…>
Cat scratch fever The aforementioned phone company (here for reffered to as the phone company) shall now and henceforth be transfered in full to the holdings of Mr William Gates Esq. and shall continue in buisness practices under the name of Windows 2003 Phone Company (here for reffered to as crap) for the next five hundred years.
I wish my lylo wouldn’t keep burning up in this pool of molten lava.
Okay, Bippy, I’ll cool off the lava pit for you. Heck, I’ll remove all heat from it.
This, of course, means that the lava pit is now at absolute zero, which freezes the lava, and you, into total immobility, right down to the subatomic level.
swish and swish and flink…wish granted. You now fully understand (and has a PhD on) quantum mechanics. But the thing is, like Einstein, your hair gets so weird all ticks and lice get lost in it.
I wish bippy the Beardless gets out the hell/frost hole he’s in.
