zzzzzzZZZZAP!
Bippy gets to stay in the Limbo game forever. Bippy is the Limbo king!
Of course, this does mean that Bippy is forever bent over backwards at the waist. Such a small price to pay for getting out of the pit and onto the dance floor.
I wish to take over a Caribbean country, and play Tropico in real life.
meedeep
You are now the Buddha of Barbuda. I’m afraid I’m not familiar with Tropico, but if its anything like my old fantasies about Ginger and Mary Ann, I’ll presume you have a jolly good time.
Such a good time that you never get around to attending those international conferences you keep getting faxes for; especially the one on global warning, where a plan to permanently patch the ozone layer fails by a single vote. So the oceans rise and your idyllic island becomes an idyllic reef.
I wish I knew the whereabouts of a soda fountain that knows what a cherry phosphate is.
<<bbzzzangoo>>
The Ukrainian Bolshoi soda fountain and Elvis Memorabillia shop knows waht a cherry phosphate is, unfortunately no one serving there speaks any English, and try as you may you can only get them to sell you a genuine yak hair Elvis wig.
I wish to limbo under the skirt of Kyle Minogue.
@@ pling @@
Your wish is granted. You limbo under the skirt of Kylie Minogue… as it’s hanging on the line behind her house.
Shortly thereafter the Dobermans catch up with you. You die embarassingly but horribly.
I wish I was popular.
Sunspace, you’re extremely popular. In fact, the aliens from Skroobarf 5 agree they’ve never enjoyed a meal more.
I wish my head weren’t stuffed up with allergies today.
Bada bing
Your head isn’t stuffed up with allergies, it’s stuffed up with mac & cheese. Have fun.
I wish I had my very own personal high quality leather jacket.
Alabam left with the ol’ left hand!
You have your very own personal leather jacket. It even has your name emblazoned on the back! It’s just the right size for your stuffed bear.
I wish for a private army of mutant zombie rock & roll alien robots.
Vrooooomm
BellaDellaItalia you are now the proud possessor of a fine leather jacket. Too bad that it is exactly like the fine leather jackets worn by a bikie gang and you find yourself strutting your stuff proudly through the turf of a rival gang. You get mistaken for a gang moll and the consequences are dire.
I wish that I was surrounded by a special kind of force field so that anyone who came within a twenty metre radius of me suddenly became witty, intelligent, resourceful, calm and possessed impeccable manners.
Qwrazam!
j_sum1, you are suddenly surrounded by a special kind of force field, so that Scuba_Ben’s private army of mutant zombie rock & roll alien robots,who came within a twenty metre radius of you, suddenly became witty, intelligent, resourceful, calm and possess impeccable manners.
Unfortunately, they still possess the appetites of the cybernatically-enhanced musical undead. Both of you die horribly.
I wish it didn’t get dark so early this time of year.
Sunspace, you finally live up to your screen name by taking up residence on the surface of the sun. You can get a nice tan year round, but you gotta use SPF 1 Billion, which of course the corner convenience store is out of until the delivery truck arrives early in the next millenia.
I wish Cecil Adams would get out of my basement and stay out of my cupboards.
pinkapinkapinkabloot
Horseflesh, you lucky devil, you! Cecil’s moved his collection of 18th century weathervanes out of your basement, stopped rummaging around your cupboards, and departed.
He has, however, left behind all the hamsters. You still have to feed, water, and clean up after the little varmints, and oil their squeaky wheels. They resent your having sent away their God Cecil and go on a slowdown strike, which so enrages the other Dopers that…
Naw, it’s just too horrible to contemplate. Best left unsaid.
I wish I had a pet hamster that the cats wouldn’t eat.
abracadabra
You now have a pet hamster the cat wouldn’t eat because your hamster has been buried in the garden for about a week now. Besides your cat has rabies and only has eyes for you.
I wish my mother hadn’t dropped me when I was a kid
qwertyuiop
You mother didn’t drop you as a child. Instead she viciously. . .
. . .aw, hell, I can’t attack motherhood!
She loved you, and hugged you, and praised you, and nurtured you; she put all of your school artwork on the front of the refrigerator (even the clay ashtrays); she cooked your food, she cleaned your house, she loved your friends (even Timmy, the Stink Bomb Maven); in short, she was so wonderful that you never moved out on your own.
And so you were still living in the same building when the 83 hairy Frenchwomen aforesaid moved into the flat underneath.
Let me be the first to wish everyone in Dopedom the happiest of holiday seasons.
Aw, heck, BJMoose – how can I go and corrupt that wish? No fair! Guess I’ll just have to say, your wish comes true, but you get mildly annoyed when Rocky eats all the nuts and leaves the shells scattered around the house.
I wish my rabid cats would decide a trip to Belgium was in order… they’ve developed a hankering for sportshoes…
meooooww poof!
Your rabid cats head off to Belgium and your shoes are safe for now. You grow loney for a pet and decide to quit your job and start an Alpaca farm. Turns out the commercials all about how great Alpaca farming is were a tad misleading.
I wish for a golden goose to lay golden eggs for easter
Your wish comes true. A golden goose indeed lays golden eggs for Easter.
Unfortunately, the poor bird is so addled by the high levels of auric salts in her bloodstream that she can’t quite get it through her head that she’s supposed to lay a gander before laying the eggs, so there’s no chance of young golden-egg-laying goslings in the future. The golden goose dies soon afterwards of metal poisining.
I wish I won the lottery.
Bad Cat!
You win the lottery. Unfortunately it is the lottery in Shirley Jackson’s story. Hope you’re good at dodgeball!
I wish I had an interstellar spaceship
Larry Borgia Congratulations you now own an Spugnaught XL 3735 Interstellar StarSHip, one of the fastest ships in the known galaxy. Just present yourself at the Spugnaught dealership on Cyrus 5 to pick up the keys.
I wish tonight’s progress meeting finishes before 5.00 pm so I can get to the “The Darkness” concert on time.
Bippy, your progress meeting finishes up well before 5pm…tomorrow. You should be able to get to “The Darkness” concert just in time to see it plunge into darkness after the roadies have packed up the equipment. Don’t forget to bring a flashlight so you can find your seat and weep quietly.
I wish I could see a decent live blues band.
Twanggggg
Horseflesh, your wish is granted. You sure can see a decent live blues band. Look – that’s them right now, entering that exclusive club for a private concert! Too bad the doorman throws you into the gutter when you try to sneak in.
I wish my favorite restaurant, closed by a fire upstairs, would reopen.