Nam yho renge kyo…Nam yho renge kyo…
As you bring it all home in a fleet of vans, you are suddenly overwhemed by the emptiness of material desires. You join an ashram, disposing of all worldly goods, to sit at the feet of a cross-eyed guru, who decides your karma can only be cleansed by a diet consisting entirely of organic lentils.
I wish I could see the look on your face when he tells you that.
You’ve got your wish - and much to your shock, you learn that I’m a vegetarian, and lentils wouldn’t be so bad (although all that karma lecturing from Mr. Guru sounds quite annoying).
I wish I had more than 4 more days off before I return to work.
I suppose I should have posted a picture of my face with that post! elucidator, if you’re lucky I may send you one.
Carry on!
fwempfwemp fwemp
Blonde, kick back and relax. You’ve got more than four mroe days off before you go back to work. You’ve got lots of time. In fact, it’s questionable just when you’ll be getting back to work. That’s because you threw your back out lifting a pot of lentil and okra stew off the stove on Christmas Day, then aggravated it trying to get the cat off the top of the tree. Currently you can be comfortable in a certain position, but since this requires holding yourself bent forward at the waist precisely 23.5 degreees, while keeping your shoulders turned 9 degrees to the right, you’re not going anywhere for a while.
I wish my oven temperature weren’t so erratic – it’s murder trying to get the brownies to turn out just right.
Blink, blink
ETF, your oven temperature isn’t so erratic anymore. That’s because it’s stopped working entirely. You can rest assured that the temperature in your oven is steadily, reliably, without a doubt the same as the temperature of the air in the rest of the kitchen. Comforting, ain’t it?
I wish my computer would work properly.
Scribble, your friendly neighborhood geek repairs your computer so that it works properly. He also informs you that he took the liberty of applying a few undisclosed “upgrades.” When you go to bed that night the new AI that was installed decides to get itself online and play a quick game of “Thermonuclear War” much to the regret of the Earth as we know (or rather, knew) it.
I wish I could get a vacation
Okay, Meros, my friend, you get a vacation. The Vacation Fairy has granted you some time off and whisked you off to somewhere where you can get away from it all.
The problem is that you never specified exactly where you’d like to go to get away from it all. You get spirited away to the ex-Soviet Gulag, a place where you’ll never be troubled by heaps of schoolwork again. Oh, yeah, there’s bitter cold, a serious lack of sources of heat, and a shortage of food. But you’ll get quite a workout in the mines, I hear, and should be fit and trim when you return–if, of course, the epidemic typhus and malnutrition don’t get you first. Happy traveling!
I wish I were already completely recovered from my recent surgery.
####healhealhealheal####
scribble, congratulations! You’re completely healed from your recent surgery. You feel great! You can’t wait to get out and about!
The weather is lovely and you’re itching to go for a run. So out you go, even though it’s twilight, and zip along the street, full of good holiday cheer and delight at your restored physical wholeness and
LOOK OUT FOR THAT TRUCK!!! IT’S TURNING RIGHT INTO
(sigh) Never mind.
Okay, so I have to wish for something, right? I wish I could come up with a wish that would be corrupted positively and not kill me in the backlash.
Shazzam! Wish granted.
You come up with the best, most incorruptible wish ever conceived in human history! The only problem is you used up your only wish to think of it and don’t have another wish to wish for it! Ha!
I wish I was God.
Moderator’s Notes:
One more that needs a lock.