wicky wicky slim sausage
Andros_X now has the fastest supercomputer on the planet. It’s name is HAL and it has a problem with homicidal outbursts. I wish for the starship Enterprise.
- A la peanut butter ice cream *
You have the USS Enterprise NCC-1701. The real thing, with warp drive and everything! Viacom / Paramount sues you into the ground for infringing on their intellectual property. Once they’re through with you, you can’t even afford to live on the streets.
EddyFreddyTeddy is truly happy, now that dorkusmalorkusmafia lives but to cater to EFT’s every whim.
I wish to capture Osama bin Laden, bring him in, collect the $25 million bounty from the US State Dept., and make the rounds of the usual talk shows as I retell my adventure.
bling bling
Scuba_Ben takes a trip to Pakistan, goes on a mountain hike, sees a turbanned guy with a portable dialysis machine come out of a manhole to empty it, and recognizes him as Osama! Ben then gets out his oxygen tank and bonks bin Laden on the noggin and drags him back to the American Embassy. Ben gets the $25 million reward, becaomes the most popular person in the USA, gets tons of women, goes on the talk show tour, then gets gunned down by an Al-Qaeda assassin disguised as Oprah Winfrey.
I wish I had a pony.
blerk
You have a pony. It was trained by the owner of a seedy establishment in Tijauna. Who’s riding who in this relationship is up for grabs.
I wish the granter of my wish is immediately there-after sent to prison.
- Walla Walla Washington! *
Your wish is granted by Saddam Hussein and G. Bush, who later become husband and wife in the same cell. I think I’ll just leave that where it stands.
I wish I had a pint of butter pecan ice cream.
You have your pint of icecream. The thing is…it expired even before you were born. Enjoy!
I wish horses could fly and that dragons were real.
WOOT! I live to serve.
Sekhmett Kibba, POOF! You went on a theme park ride and suddenly in the middle of the roller coaster strange dimensional portals opened you wound up in the Dungeons and Dragons Cartoon world. You are Bobby, the annoying kid with a magic club and a bad temper. You take care of a baby Unicorn that you creatively named “Uni.” You are constantly pursued by Tiamat the five headed dragon and Venger a demon from the nether world for your magical club and retarded unicorn baby. Oh and you have several sidekicks who have even lamer powers than you one of which includes a cowardly knight who is always griping and another person who cryptically guides you threw the world while talking like Yoda. When you finally get sick of the world and want to get home the plan always backfires.
I wish life never existed. Mwuahaha
dorkusmalorkusmafia, your wish is granted, which makes it so you never existed, which makes it so you wish was never wished, which makes life exist, which makes you exist, which makes your wish possible, your wish is granted, which makes it so you never existed, which makes it so you wish was never wished, which makes life exist, which makes you exist, which makes your wish possible, your wish is granted, which makes it so you never existed, which makes it so you wish was never wished, which makes life exist, which makes you exist, which makes your wish possible,…
I wish.
*** hocus-pocus! ***
John Conway never went into AI research, and so Life never existed. 30 years of computer science students have now lost their research projects. The SDMB admins switch to other fields. This message board vanishes in a puff of logic.
I wish I had a pencil-thin mustache, so I could solve mysteries too.
poof
You get a pencil-thin mustache, however the guy who it belonged to is a pissed of 6’ 5" angry biker, and he wants it back.
I wish Norway woudl annex Alaska.
NurseCarmen gets to have a period, especially embarissing since he’s a bloke if I remember correctly.
I wish people wouldn’t upset me.
A pencil thin Mustache? Uh huh… So, would you like a red velvet dressing gown and a champagne glass with that? Or how about you practice your evil laugh.
I wish that I had Xenz Warrior princess moves. You know, the whole karate/judo/swordfighting dealy. I LOVE hte whole shakrem thingy, too.
Miss Magic8ball, you get your movies. And then you start learning her combat styles. And her speech patterns. And all of the scripts. Pretty soon you’re a Xena wannabe, nobaody wants anything to do with you, and you die alone, never having gone on a date in your whole life.
I wamt every book that has ever been published.
Well dwalin You get your books. unfortunately they materialise three hundred feet above your head and promptly fall on you crushing all your bones, but in an ironical twist of fate you can still see and a book falls open in front of you and all you get time to read is THE END!
I wish that I had the world’s largest BLT, on the ground in front of me, and on a big plate. With a glass of water to wash it down with.
Dwalin: You have every book ever published, including many on how to build weapons of mass destruction. Pretty soon the feds find out, and take you to the secret terrorist concentration camp.
I wish for a super-fast microwave!
Darn it! Did it again!
YOu have a superfast microwave, too bad you don't have anymore microwave popcorn.
I wish I could have next weekend off.The_Immortal_Mango There are now 1000 angry Marines standing in front of you on an even large plate. Their commanding officer asks “Who ordered the BATTALION LANDING TEAM?”
Alex VA A midget comes up to you and waves before running off at great speed.
I still wish that people wouldn’t upset me.
No one ever upsets you. **Bippy the Beardless**, you are emotionless, you never feel sorrow again, or joy, or happiness, or excitement.
I wish someone would reply to my IowaDopefest thread.whangawhangawhangaaaa
misstee, so many people reply to your IowaDopefest thread, at the exact same time, that the hamsters all have heart attacks, their wheels explode, the board collapses, every Doper blames you for the disaster, and the mods ban you for life.
But you get next weekend off to reflect upon your Dopeless future.
I wish I never made a coding mistake.