alacazam
j_sum1, you have eternal health and “happiness.” After about 500 years of watching your friend and true love die you get the sh… you get tired of it.
Misstee, Sean C. knocks on your door and then knocks you around like he did to other women in those early '60’s movies…
Carrot F_in Top not withstanding… I still wish a redhead would talk to me…
Hi if6was9. How you doin??? Redhead checking in.
Nah. Bad bad idea.
I wish my babel fish hadn’t died.
Your babel fish didn't die, he was just sleeping when you flushed him. The horrors of it all! You killed an innocent.
I wish I could grant the wishes of my friends. ;)freeooop
You grant your friends all their fondest wishes. Now that they have everything they want, they are far too cool to hang out with someone like you. For the rest of your life, people try to become your friend just long enough to take what they want before ditching you without a second glance. You never learn.
I wish I were a famous and sucessful novelist.
You become a famous and sucessful novelist. On the way to your debut book signing, your limo is hit by a drunk driver, you live in a coma for 48 more years.
I wish I only needed 2 hours of sleep a day.
Poof! You only need two hours sleep! No catch…
I wish everyone on the SDMB could be happy in life!
Zzzzzz
scientists discover a way to let everyone rest fully with 2 hours of sleep a day, however employers begin demanding that people began taking 15 hour work days or else. thus, you’re forced to work the double the hours for double the pay and soon find everything costs double than it used to…
i wish life is fair.
Life is fair, but only the first 30 seconds of every Tuesday.
I wish for my pillows to be fluffed for me everynight, before I get into bed.Horseflesh… you now have a 1920’s-style meth lab… in 1920’s Chicago, where you are “rubbed out” by Al Capone for cutting into his profits.
If6was9… a redhead DOES talk to you… in an incredibly loud, inhumanly high-pitched voice that blows out your eardrums and vibrates the bones in your skull until they shatter.
I wish everything in my life was absolutely perfect in every way, as defined by my current standards of perfection, which will remain unchanged forever.
if6was9: Wish granted! Of course, all the lurkers who are religious fundamentalists, and a couple who’re white supremacists, are included, so everyone who opposes them has to join a huge diaspora to find happiness, causing the members to become so far-flung that the board shuts down.
shijinn: Wish granted! Life is now fair… for all your enemies.
misstee: Wish granted! A totally insane axe murderer fluffs your pillows every night!
Vlad Dracul: Wish granted! However, strangers who see your perfect life commit suicide en masse out of jealousy and despair. And since you never know about them, your life, as far as you know, is perfect. Too bad you’ve caused so much misery. Oh well!
I wish for true and everlasting love with my perfect soulmate!
Leaper… You got it! Sadly, your perfect soulmate’s family and friends HATE you with an intensity that cannot be described in words, and your family and friends HATE your soulmate in a similar fashion.
On your wedding day, the smoldering tensions erupt in a blazing hail of gunfire that leaves everyone dead except you and your soulmate, because you wisely ran like hell when the first shot rang out. Fortunately, you still love each other, but you are permanently bereft of family and friends.
Since Vlad wished for nothing, you now own every issue of Playboy every published. In Russian. With all the pictures replaced by Russian heads of state. And the KGB is looking for you. You are also 7 feet tall, handcuffed, mute, bald, and wearing a bright orange prison uniform. Sux to be you, dude. Next time wish for something nice.
I wish my cat would live as long as I do, which would be forever.
You and your cat will now live together, forever.
Kitty is now surgically grafted into your intestines, where he shall claw at your vitals for all eternity!
I wish that I had all the magical powers/abilities & attributes ascribed to Zeus.
Bwwwwwwwup
Bosda, babe – you got it! Zeus it is. You’ve also got all those women he trifled with, AND their enraged daddies, out for your blood. I wouldn’t advise heading for refuge on Olympus – Hera’s waiting with a large, nail-studded club.
I wish I could think of clever things to say at the time, not too late.
TOO LATE! heh, just kidding…
You now think of clever things all the time. Unfortunately, you can’t stop, and hard drinkin’ bikers love to use you as a chew toy at all the biker bars you can’t resist hanging out in.
[George Carlin]I wish all of our sexual organs were even bigger than they were the first time around.[/GC]
Zoingers
Horseflesh now has George Carlin’s penis…and it’s still bigger than what he had.
I wish for Jennifer Anniston to be my totally willing love slave.
** Alacazam! **
You want Jennifer Anniston, you’ve got her. For 24 hours. With complete TV camera coverage.
Once the taping is over, she leaves. After the show airs on FOX, nobody will have anything to do with you ever again.
I wish to become Supreme Overlord of Earth! Naaaarf!
ka-POOF
You are now Supreme Overlord of the Earth. Unfortunately, everyone’s decided to go colonize some distant planet. But at least you have the kangaroos and the penguins to do your bidding.
I wish for the fastest supercomputer on the planet.
EddyFreddyTeddy, I wished to not be harmed directly or indirectly in my wish that you killed me in.)
I wish that EddyFreddyTeddy was truly happy. >:-)
Whjoops, left out Andros’s wish.
Poof, Andros has the fastest supercomputer on the planet; unfortunatley, it also has the fastest readout on the planet. He types in one thing and all the results go flying by at light speed.