ba-dump-bump- [sup]ching[/sup]!!
ETF is served with a lovely glass of Cabernet… soil. Good luck in growing those grapes!
I wish my mother-in-law liked me.
Sproing
Your MIL likes you. In fact, she loves you. In fact, she’s just suggested you and she abandon your spouses and set up housekeeping together.
With her in charge.
I wish I could balance my checkbook.
You can now balance your checkbook - on the tip of your finger.
I wish I could have superpowers like Superman’s or the Martian Manhunter’s.
Congrats. You accidentally destroy your own house with an energy blast while looking for the remote.
I wish I was god.
Shazbot!
Turns out, god doesn’t exist.
I wish I was Agent Smith (in the Matrix).
PARP!
You are indeed the computer program known as agent smith. Unfortunately, the matrix OS is Windows and the moment you try to do anything remotely interesting, it crashes.
I wish I would get to sleep sometime soon.
*whoosh
green_dragon you finally fall asleep, but are terrorized by and killed by Freddie Krueger in your sleep.
and horseflesh you finally have multiple orgasms, but only when you are alone. And you have so many you go blind.
I wish for Sara Jessica Parker
You go to sleep in an hour. And then you wake up in an hour. And then you go to sleep for an hour. This bizarre circadian rhythm continues until you commit suicide from insanity caused by the side effects of your condition.
I want to have a girlfriend again.
ZZZZZZZ
You will sleep now, and when you awake, , it will be millions and millions of years in the future, when Earth is about to be engulfed by the seething outbursts of a dying Sun rallying for one last burst of nova eruptions.
I wish I had naturally curly hair.
stormchaser, you can have Sara Jessica Parker – with misstee along to chaperone.
dwalin, you 've got a new girlfriend who’s jsut your type! I hope you don’t mind beards. One on each head.
Still waiting for my naturally curly hair.
“Strange Fruit” indeed! :eek:
Bam!
ETF, you have naturally curly hair… curls so tight the they pull themselves out of your scalp!
I wish a redhead would talk to me.
Ta-Da!
Carrot Top officially has set his sights on you. He collect calls you day and night.
I wish I could meet Jimmy Fallon.
I love this board! 
Danalan
No magic necessary. You did go to all those concerts back in the seventies. The fact that you can’t remember a single one is proof. look what they did to you!
I wish for health and happiness.
(Krys92gp still wishes to meet Jimmy Fallon.)
Wheeee-boooop
You meet Jimmy Fallon at the trial where your cousin presses sexual harassment charges against him. It’s rather awkward, to say the least.
I wish I could shapeshift.
pfssst
you shapeshift into a gnat, and am drawn towards the hypnotic blue light…
i wish for all evil people to vanish into thin air.
You can now shapeshift, but you are grape and in a bowl in the refridgerator. ( Can you say Jell-O[sup]TM[/sup].)
I wish Sean Connery would knock on my door.All evil people vanish into thin air, and you are alone in the world with a bunch of screaming, crying babies. You have to change all their diapers ;)
I am still wishing for Sean Connery to knock on my door.Fwoooooommmm
And all evil people disappear into thin air. Which is when you discover that the Christians are right and everyone is evil in part.
I still wish for health and happiness.
- A la Denver omlettes! *
Sean Connery knocks on your door, but since you weren’t home he slinks away and mutters Scottish epithets to himself for the rest of his life.
Health and happiness find you, j_sum1, but being dead makes it really hard to enjoy either of them.
I wish I had a 1920’s-style Meth Lab.