Your iPod can store as much data as you want to load on it. It doesn’t have the ability to retrieve the data whithout the assesory that is the size of a modern cruise ship.
I wish for nice installed carpeting that won’t wear out or require cleaning.
That nice carpet is fully installed, but you didn’t say you wanted it in your house. Mrs. Berniece R. Maddox of Des Moines thanks you for it, however.
I wish to safely and enjoyably travel around the world with my wife on an all-expenses-paid trip, staying in the finest hotel rooms, eating in the most delectable restaurants, swimming in the most pleasant oceans and seas, seeing the most striking sights, and happily returning home again in a year with memories to last the rest of my long lifetime.
Sorry, I can only grant half of your wish. But I’m sure your wife and I will have a wonderful time.
I wish that pancakes and sausage had zero calories.
Enjoy your trip. When you get back you’ve lost your job and you simply cannot get another one. Your wife leaves you for an English count she met while traveling, and you spend the rest of your very very very long life homeless and penniless, living in a box and eating out of dumpsters, with memories of the trip mocking your present lifestyle.
tdn–Your digestive system is changed so you get no calories from pancakes and sausage or anything else. You die of starvation in two weeks.
I wish I could buy the 1888 firehouse that is for sale in my town at a cool $1.4 million.
Granted: Unfortunately the fire house burns down 10 minutes after you hand over your cash, you are now broke and being sued by gazillions of people for the damage your fire caused to their property.
I wish Scarlett Johansson was madly in love with me and lying in my bed right now just waiting for me to, well ya know
Well it did actually, since if it didn’t contain a parachute I’d just call it a “pack” and leave it at that. I call foul.
You get a phone call from Scarlett Johansson saying she’s madly in love with you, and that she’s in your bed. Yes, she’s lying too.
I want nice weather for the weekend.
You get nice weather for the weekend. In Tierra del Fuego, half a world away. Unfortunately, it’s raining where you are.
I wish we could all just get along.
You bugger, not lying as in telkling porkies, but you knew that anyway.
Right that’s it, I’m not playing this game anymore
Mangetout beat me to it, but this was my answer to your wish.
You get her, but Scarlett is VERY impatient (if you catch my meaning), and in the 5 minutes you spend bragging that you’re about to do her to the SDMB, she works herself into a homicidal rage, and kills you for your inconsiderate actions. She spends the next 50 years in prison, and we, denied The Glory That Is Scarlett, desecrate your grave in anger.
How’s that?
Since you called foul on another submission…
Granted. The crazed terrorist decides to kill you as an example to the rest of the passengers, takes your fancy parachute pack, blows up the plane and gets away safely. They then go on to commit even more atrocities that eventually bring western civilization to its knees.
Better?
The internet goes down and we can all get along now. Nothing happening here get along now.
I wish for sexy knickers.
Your sexy knickers drive all the people in town crazy with lust, and they chase you down and have their way with you. All of them. Repeatedly. You die of exhaustion and multiple traumas.
I wish the Fox TV cartoon The Simpsons would win the Pulitzer Prize.
Granted. The category it wins is for poetry, for an episode which consists solely of Maggie sucking her pacifier in the rhythm of a sonnet.
I wish my daughter’s cockatiel would actually sing insterad of squak.
The cockatiel does sing, but only the lounge version of “Feelings” and it never shuts up.
I wish I had perfect teeth.
Granted. They make dandy replacements for your fingers and toes.
I wish I hadn’t just finished my yummy sandwich.
Poof You go back in time one minute, and eat the sandwich again. Poof You go back in time one minute, and eat the sandwich again. Poof You go back in time one minute, and eat the sandwich again. You find yourself trapped in an infinite loop of sandwich-eating, but you remember it each time.
I wish I could travel forward and backward in time by sheer force of will, as far forward or as far back as I saw fit, in perfect safety, whenever I wanted.
poof You are now able to go forward in time, slowly, and it doesn’t even take force of will. You will continue to move forward in time. Then you will die.
I wish airline tickets were not so damned expensive.
TWEET I call foul. Read my wish again; I anticipated this.
tdn, can you try again in the interest of fairness? Elendil’s Heir, can I have my whistle back? 
John DiFool, I call foul on that one too; hope you continue to participate though.