Done. But the crazed axe murderer lying in wait for you eats it not long after you make his acquaintance.
I wish Scott Turow, Tom Clancy, Stephen King and John Grisham would slow down, take a little more time in between, and come out with slightly fewer but much better books.
Alakazam! Turow, Clancy, S. King, and Grisham each write one high quality book per year. Their books sweep the top four nominees for the Newberry Medal (for outstanding children’s literature) for the rest of their joint careers.
I wish for my swordfighting to be known throughout the country for my masterful skill.
AARRGGHH! Not again! :mad: Had a board timeout, forgot about my post, came back, and was pre-empted, once again. Well this time I’m keeping my originals.
The genie grants your wish, and he tells me that the new books these guys wrote were much tastier than the older ones. A little oregano goes a long way…
I wish my mom, who has been a housewife all her life, had become a world-famous master chef (yes even in these biased eyes she is a terrific cook).
Done. The job obligations that came as a result thwarted your conception, and you no longer exist. Still damn good food, I should say.
I wish that the George Clinton who served as Governor of New York forever in the 18th century and the George Clinton behind Parliament/Funkadelic became President.
Done. However, only one person may serve as President at any given time. As the older GC is long dead, he is ineligible to serve, and is ignored by Congress in any event. The younger GC shows little interest in legislation, once in the White House, and devotes his time to smoking weed, singing and songwriting. Although his dreadlocks and choice in eyewear draw praise, the nation’s business is ignored and in time everyone blames you for wishing him into office.
I wish my shoes didn’t hurt my feet so much.
Thwarted my adoption perhaps, as I am taking about my adoptive mother. Guess the genie isn’t as omniscient as he thought! [Tho the butterfly effect might have affected my conception anyway).
The stop hurting you feet and only half the people you encounter each day laugh at your clown shoes.
Next wish:
You are known for your masterful swordfighting skill, and everyone expects you to do quite well against the greatest gunfighter in your duel to the death next wednesday.
I wish for a happy birthday! (I just realized it’s after midnight now, so it’s official!)
Oh, Happy Birthday! I hope you have a great one!
Death is one year closer. It will probably be slow and painful.
I wish the weather was better so that I could take my sweetie on a picnic instead of to a restaurant.
What a beautiful day to discover that your sweetie harbors an intense dislike for any outdoor activity, and that the resulting argument caused you two to break up.
I wish the photos I took at my son’s graduation had turned out better.
Good News. In reviewing your son’s school records, it was discovered that half his credits are invalid because his teachers did not cross their t’s and dot their i’s. He has two more years of school to complete, and the photos from his next graduation will be beautiful.
I wish someone would give the SDMB hamsters crack cocaine.
They seem to enjoy the crack cocaine quite a bit, but their tiny little hearts burst one after another as they run even more frenetically on the wheels in their server-farm cages. The Dope crashes for months as TPTB try to either resurrect the hamsters or import migrant hamsters to assume their duties.
I wish cheetahs could come back from near-extinction and flourish in a restored and well-functioning sub-Saharan African ecosystem.
The restored and functioning Sub-Saharan ecosystem permits a large number of predators because the #1 prey are the 90% of humans who revert to sub-bovine intelligence overnight around age 25. The remaining humans in Africa struggle to build defenses to withstand the predators who have developed a taste for their flesh. Other continents worldwide experience a resurgence in predators as well: wolves, jaguars, and more. Lions, tigers, and bears. Oh my.
I wish that all of the civilizations on earth would convert to an energy source with no ill effects on the environment.
Done. However, one small ill effect on the SDMB…“The message board is temporarily offline for database maintenance. Expected availability is 10:30 CDT. Jerry.”
I wish this cold would go away.
It goes away. But you’ve infected everyone around you, family, friends and coworkers, who resent your newfound ruddy good health.
I wish JFK had never been assassinated, but kept the U.S. limited to an advisory role in Vietnam, made the same strides for civil rights as LBJ did, left office after two full and successful terms, and enjoyed a long retirement as a respected statesman.
All goods things, to be sure (and I’m with you), but his non-demise overshadows Martin Luther King’s legacy and, if I must say, King’s was also an example mankind needed and one ended much too soon.
I wish political assassination to be a thing of the past.
Done. Military strongmen, tyrants and thugs all over the world thank you.
I wish my cat didn’t shed so much.
Alakazam, it’s now a thing of the past. From now on, all assassinations are effectively random. None of us are safe.
I wish I was at the beach right now.
Poof You are. Unfortunately, you’re buried ten feet deep in the sand and the tide is coming in.
I wish my cat didn’t shed so much.
Done. Now, your cat doesn’t shed at all. However, because it’s now a hairless, it looks like this. Your mate is squicked out by it, leaves you and takes the kids. You’re devastated and turn to drink. You miss so much work that you’re fired, lose you pension, everything. The house your wife generously let you keep is foreclosed on and your car is re-possessed. None of your relatives will take you in and the shelters reject you because your feet smell like limburger cheese. You end up in a cardboard box down under the expressway bridge.
But the cat sticks by you through it all.
I wish that I pick the right restaurant to order from this evening so I’ll get the string fries I really like and not the undercooked chips of cellulose the other restaurant serves.