Corrupted Wish Game

My point was just that she didn’t have to be speaker. Merely assure that she was president pro tempore before taking out the speaker. :slight_smile:

Unfortunately, Craigslist’s new auction site soon drives E-Bay into near bankruptcy, with the only E-Bay listings being of bobble-head dolls of the world’s worst dictators.

I wish I owned a vintage P-38 Lightning.

Congratulations! You just recieved title, free and clear, via mail, for a vintage P-38 Lightning.

Did I mention that it’s some 100 meters down under Greenland snow? Have fun digging it out. :wink:

I wish I weren’t so easily annoyed by people.

[Edit] Quit pre-empting my posts, dammit! I even had a nice pic of a wrecked P-38 on the seafloor. :mad: :smiley:

So, in that spirit, Otakuloki, here ya go.

You cultivate Buddhist nonattachment to such a wonderful degree that people come from all over to worship at the feet of the wise guru Otakuloki, and in fact follow you around in hordes. You don’t find this annoying of course, but you are unable to do anything in your life other than sit in your apartment, meditate, and eventually starve to death as the teeming, chanting mass of humanity outside blocks every exit.

I wish that a fully-crewed (yes by USN personnel) and armed Seawolf class SSN would get transported back in time to December 6th, 1941, 200 miles north of Pearl Harbor (and, I’ll note, 100 feet below the surface).

Done. I betcha wish you’d warned them ahead of time to close and dog the hatches. Ooopsie!

I wish everybody on Earth, from national leaders to peasants, would be moved by a strong and lasting sense of humanity and thoughtfulness to do all they could to make the world a better place characterized by democracy, personal liberty, the rule of law and a sustainable market economy.

Done. Everyone is so moved by a strong and lasting sense of humanity and thoughtfulness to do all they could to make the world a better place characterized by democracy, personal liberty, the rule of law and a sustainable market economy. Unfortunately, those who most believe personal liberty involves owning guns and being left alone kill those who encroach on their defintion of democracy and those who reach out and act on their sense of humanity and thoughtfulness and it’s never-ending because stores like Walmart selling the bullets they use is part of a sustainable market economy.

I wish I hadn’t been too lazy to go and buy an air conditioner this weekend.

You get sent back in time to Saturday morning, get into your car to head down to Home Depot to purchase said a/c. You get a great deal. On your way home you are struck by a runaway 18-wheeler and killed which would have only run into a light pole if you had slept in.

I wish John DiFool had got to answer corrupt my wish about the P-38.

The genie says, “You had come into possession of this nice vintage P-38 Lightning. Alas you didn’t wish for the funds to rebuild her, nor for the expert help and equipment to get her off the seafloor (assuming she didn’t fall apart in the attempt). All you could do then was take scuba dives, and wistfully stroke her decaying aluminum skin, and wonder about what-if…”

I wish the wish genie would realize that we aren’t ever going to set him free from this thread if he keeps screwing us over with our wishes.

The wish genie shrugs and says, “Nobody ever sets me free anyway. They always want to use up all of their wishes for themselves instead. Well, except for that street rat in the Disney movie Aladdin.”

I wish I could go back to Europe.

Done. Not only are you back in Europe, but you’ve gone back in time as well. Welcome to the trenches at Messine, 1916.

I wish I could have steamed crab legs for lunch.

Done. Just follow this thread.

I wish the rain would stop long enough for me to get some yardwork done, and then we could have normal weather.

You do. They’re delicious and you eat an awfully lot of them. The rare, microscopic, tasteless fungoid growth on them turn you into a nightmarish Lovecraftian monster within the week.

I wish the angry voices in my head would shut the fuck up already.

You get the yardwork done, and your lawn looks great, but you’re bitten by a mosquito while you’re outside. Notwithstanding the best research of the CDC, you contract a terrible disease that ruins the rest of your life.

I still wish the angry voices in my head would shut the fuck up already.

All the voices in your head shut the fuck up already. You’re now a mute vegetable.

I wish the TV show Alien Nation would come back. I really really do.

Sorry, it’s never coming back. However, I can give you the next best thing, and send you back to 1989, in which you are stuck forever.

I wish it was Thursday night.

Ok, it’s now Thursday Night - permanently.

Just after closing time.

I wish we didn’t have to put the clocks back and forth twice a year.

Perfect! Thank you!

You don’t have to anymore. Showing up an hour late for work everyday, of course you get fired.

…next wish?

Oops, sorry.

I wish I could think up another wish.

Granted. You think up another wish but don’t think it through and the corruption creates dire consequences worldwide, typhoons, earthquakes, drawn-out Democratic primaries – stuff like that there.

I wish I had a wholesome, non-poisonous dinner waiting for me when I get home.