The giant barrels of ambergris which appear on every street corner in the land stink to high heaven within hours. When everyone finds out you’re responsible for wishing them there, a mob with torches and pitchforks hunts you down.
I wish there weren’t quite so many mobs with torches and pitchforks in my town.
There are no torches or pitchforks because fire had never been discovered and metal forging had never developed. Unfortunately, without fire human society never advanced and your “town” is a small group of hunter gatherers huddled together to protect against prey.
I wish my dishwasher would work properly.
Your dishwasher works properly. Every other appliance in your house catastrophically fails, though. You bankrupt yourself paying for new appliances, which also go kaput.
I wish the woman of my dreams found me irresistibly appealing, and we ran off together and had a warm, loving relationship for the rest of my long and healthy life.
Done, except your heart can’t take all the excitement associated with the relationship and gives out. The rest of your life lasted 2 days.
I wish my student loans were paid off.
You wake up in a bathtub of ice in great pain with a note pinned to the wall saying
Get to a Doctor NOW!!
PS. Thanks for the kidney and lung
I wish that England could win the current cricket test
Did I mention the second note saying that your student loans have also been paid off. :smack:
Honest!
The English cricket, whose name was Percy J. Bigglesworth, navigated the obstacle course with aplomb, securing 1st place with a time of 1:37.32 seconds. He narrowly avoided the whirring knives, held his breath in the Tunnel of Raid, and gained a new British record in the Catapult Toss of 16.32 inches. When interviewed after the event he thanked Mom, the Queen, and his coach, Muffilagous C. Knickersbottom.
I wish to see what kind of weird mutant game we’d get if we combined the best features of Cricket with Baseball.
After years of negotiations, baseball and cricket rules are merged into an amalgamation using 11-player defenses, a baseball diamond, balls thrown on the fly, wickets instead of bases, a fixed number of balls to be bowled during each innings, and a player development system that includes both minor leagues and relegation.
However, the two main U.S. cricket organizations are unable to agree on the use of a “designated batsman” As a result the game ends up as an obscure sports trivia answer.
I wish the kids who got off my lawn would turn that damn music down.
Not only did they turn it down, they turned it off. Of course, they are back on your lawn. And they’ve brought shovels to play a game of treasure hunt.
I wish that when my killer robots are sent to smite my enemies, they wouldn’t leave such a gosh darned mess.
Your killer robots now vaporize your enemies. Breathing in all that vaporized human being stuff gives you all sorts of strange diseases that give you much pain, make you totally impotent, and make you die a very slow, lingering death.
I wish I didn’t drop my cell phone into the big puddle outside my office.
No worries. You’re misremembering. You didn’t drop your cellphone into that big puddle.
You dropped it into the toilet.
I wish I could break my caffeinated soda habit.
Done. You’ve replaced it with a cocaine habit.
I wish all of my shirts were as cool and awe-inspiring as the one I’ve got on now.
Tweet Technical foul. I wrote “long and healthy life.” No one thinks 2 days is “long.”
tdn, all of your shirts are now identical to the one you’ve got on now. You quickly grow bored wearing the same shirt all the time.
I wish I had one of tdn’s shirt in my size, so I could be as cool and awe-inspiring as him.
Alakazam! You’re fruit fly.
Right now everyone that’s seen me thinks I’m a secure macho male because I can pull off wearing it. If all my shirts looked like this, I’d just come off as very very gay.
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I wish I had one of tdn’s shirt in my size, so I could be as cool and awe-inspiring as him.
[/QUOTE]
Abara Cadabara! You’ve got a short just like mine. Unfortunately, you realize too late that it’s not just the shirt that does it. 
I wish the Sun was out right now.
I wish I had one of tdn’s shirt in my size, so I could be as cool and awe-inspiring as him.
[/QUOTE]
Abara Cadabara! You’ve got a short just like mine. Unfortunately, you realize too late that it’s not just the shirt that does it.
I wish the Sun was out right now.
[/QUOTE]
The Sun is out right now. And since it is always “right now,” the Sun is always out. Good luck with sleeping and growing crops with no rain.
I wish Shirley Phelps Roper would die a miserable painful death and people would picket her funeral with signs about her illegitimate son; i.e. “Shirley is spreading her legs in hell,” “I pray your bastard joins you soon,” and “How did that bitch ever find anyone willing to fuck her nasty cunt?”
Erased all the messed up formatted post. This thread is wonky.
That’s just what happens, but the Phelps Phamily has such a twisted and paranoid mindset that they’re actually proud of being picketed, and take the signs as vindication for all the awful things they’ve done.
I wish these mints were a little more minty.
They are, so much so that, upon ingesting one, your lips pucker so tightly that you cannot ingest any food or drink, and you have to go to the hospital and get hooked up to an IV for nourishment.
I wish all the people in this thread who obviously post only from work during the week would start posting more on the weekends.
Wish granted. Said posters submit so many wishes/grants, they not only cause the SDMB to hang up more than it already does but you can’t get a post in edgewise in any thread or forum.
I wish it would finally get seasonably warm in New York City and during that time I an enjoy the sunshine, good outdoor weather and time off from steady, continued employment to spend hanging out in Prospect park and playing tennis.
Done. You have 8 hours before a succession of cold fronts, nor’easters, offshore hurricanes and a freak earthquake centered under Coney Island render Enwye the most miserable city in the world.
I wish most TV reality shows didn’t suck so much.