Done. Unforunatly one of them accidenly got you laid and now will have sex with three girls for your one.
I wish I had a 12" pianist.
The genie granting your wishes is a little deaf, so now you have to explain why you have a person who studies dinosaur bones in your pocket.
I wish for more wishes!
You sir now have a 12" pianist. The only song he knows is “Loving You”, the Minnie Ripperton song and he insists on playing it all the time.
I wish to become the inventor of an environmentally friendly source of fuel that is plentiful and inexpensive.
You do, billions of 'em. They’re all granted to other, bad people though, for bad things.
Racer72’s Wish: I wish to become the inventor of an environmentally friendly source of fuel that is plentiful and inexpensive.
(Please include the wish you are responding to. Also please try to preview or at least to see if that post has been answered.)
Here ya go. Alas, it’s a defective batch. With each one, as soon as you mutter the words “I wish”, the wish expires and is no longer usable. People look at you oddly because you constantly mutter “I wish… Damn. I wish… Damn.”, &c.
And so you do. But you are unable to make any money from it since you can’t patent shit.
I wish the cat would stop leaving hair all over the place.
Granted. However, there’s no hair to shed now because the cat contracts a disease the commucible to humans, and is most contagious the night you throw a blowout party at your house with 100 guests.
I wish the world would stop watching TV and start reading and conversing more.
Done! We all spend all our free time with our noses in a book, forsaking our jobs and responsibilities for our insatiable desire to read, and reread, this one book, and discuss (argue) its intricacies for hours upon days upon weeks. Did I mention it’s a collection of Harry Potter fanfics?
I wish I was playing in the NBA.
Granted. You DID say WNBA, right?
I wish that Tina Fey and my girl who looks a lot like Tina Fey would join me in the shower this morning.
And by ‘join’ you did mean ‘become grafted to’, right? Congradulations, you’re now a three-bodied freak.
I wish I had stronger willpower.
Congratulations. Mr. Will Power is now exponentially stronger, and he’s ALL YOURS.
I wish my dog could talk.
Now he can. He just talks about freaking baked beans and secret recipes all day long!
I wish people would treat others the way they want to be treated
You are now irritated with people treating you in a way you do not want to be treated.
I wish the big one would just happen.
Then you fall right to sleep and can’t stay awake for Leno. 
I wish I could have a pony.
Your pony has been prepared with the combined effort and genius of the best French chefs. Enjoy!
I wish my finger would heal. 
Your finger now stops and waits on command when you say heal.
I wish for an instantaneous transport system.
This portal will transport you instantly to New Jersey whenever you want. Sorry, the reverse journey is not possible with current technology.
I wish Windows Vista didn’t suck.
Granted. Windows Vista now, officially, blows.
I wish that my two former douchebag roommate would realize they were in error, and give me the $1000 they owe me so I didn’t have to go through with this lawsuit.
Congratulations you have $1,000 US dollars. Unfortunately the dollar is no longer worth anything, and you must barter for food.
I wish for a shiny new ray gun, that causes clowns and mimes to go away.
The clowns and mimes go away… to the homes and workplaces of your friends and family. Congratulations - they now hate you.
I wish the Holocaust had never happened.
The world switches and congratulations you were never born.
I wish for a great vacation.