Could a Doper who asks too many inane questions get elected POTUS?

Mom, Dad, sit down. There’s something I have to tell you. I’m afraid it may disturb you even shock, but I can no longer live with this lie. I’m not the Secretary-General of the United Nations. I’m the President of the United States of America, and I have been for over four years now. Remember all those nights I told you I was working late with a colleague? Well, I’m afraid it wasn’t Kofi like you assumed. Mom, Dad, I’d like you both to meet Dick. We’ve been together for over six years now, and we make each other happy. We’re meant for each other. I know this may come as a shock, even disappointment to you, and it may be too much to ask for your blessing right now, but all we want is your acceptance. What we’re doing may be wrong in your eyes, in the eyes of the world, but deep down together, we feel we’re right, and that’s all that matters for us.

I’m in! w00t!

Ask The Guy Who Could Not Possibly Be Elected POTUS

Four more years! But for you? Three-and-a-half, and I’m robbing myself.

SCOTUS is also pretty popular now. Which is unfortunate, since my mind in its infinite jest always converts this to SCROTUM.

Could someone who makes too many jokes about words that sound like parts of the male anatomy get elected President?

If his PAC is prepared.

Well you got my vote.

This isn’t a rant. I’m not quite sure what it is, but Pit material it ain’t.

Since it’s mostly just having fun, off to MPSIMS with it.

I could see that happening. But Ross Perot? Come on.

Hey, I was just making a pre-emptive strike with my thread. I figured if I didn’t do it, someone else would. And I learned some interesting facts in those threads. There’s been a Jewish governor of Utah. Who’da thunk it?

Would conspiracy nuts think the designation “Charter Member” is an Illuminati signal?

How will voters react when a 10-point platform includes “Hi, Opal”?

Can an entire State of the Union address be made from sequential thread titles?

Can we really balance the budget by running Google adds at the bottom of every presidential message?

I’ll volunteer to be Prime Minister. I think I ask inane questions too much already.

Correct as Usual.
Though I don’t see FLOTUS much, was it more commonly used here when Hillary was still FLOTUS?

So who are we nominating? :wink:

Jim

So, are you saying that you’re in the closet?
:smiley:

Don’t look at me! I ran in 2000, and couldn’t even get on the ballot! In fact, I didn’t even get a hanging chad.

I blame it on my precinct workers, except for one, though. The exception is Shirley Ujest, because she obviously became very well known campaigning for me. In fact, every time I talked to someone about my candidacy, the first thing they did was mention her name! :wink:

Maybe because it makes it sound more like someone ate too much chili than an acronym for First Lady of the United States?

i shall humbly accept your nomination, brave dopers.

and then i’ll make a fun presidential slush fund with the google ads as income generators.
think of how BIG the squids will be for new people when i’m elected to the office!!!

Damn. I saw the threads eliminating women and African Americans and Jews and homosexuals and Mormons and Ross Perot and I was thinking “I’m none of these things. If other people keep get knocked out of the running like this, eventually I’ll be the only eligible person left to be President. Cool.”

Then this thread comes along and I’m sitting on the bench.

In the immortal words of Howard Dean, “YYYAAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!”

Boggles the mind.

Of course, the Doper Administration will need to establish various government programs for the War On Ignorance.

We’ll need a comitment to visit the Marianas Trench, say, for twenty-five minutes.

For defense, of course we’ll need to come up with a decent 2020’s-style Death Ray.

…and sure, there are many others…

Flag-burning will stay legal, but dog-burning is right out.

Legislation will regulate the attachment of “Gotcha ya!” mechanisms to new casket construction.

TIME CUBE BECOME NEW OPERATING PARADIGM OF UNITED STATES!

There will be a weekly national Amazing Race dialogue hosted by the Library of Congress.