Browsing around in the Pit I came across some typical Republican vs Democrat set to. I had the delicious thought that rather than being one of Bush’s defenders the poster could be George Bush (presumably with someone at his elbow to tell him how to spell the hard words). But even better would be if one of the current Dopers, say a mere lawyer paddling in the backblocks of local government, were in years to come become president.
Assuming that she didn’t divulge her position of power how would our Doper pres participate on the boards? Defend policy decisions in Great Debates, answer back to insults in the Pit, accidently offer up top secret answers in GQ that are thwarted by a quick “Cite?”. Could Dopers influence the president by weight of numbers? Would the Secret Service monitor the presidents time on the boards? What would happen when the Washington Post found out the president was discussing policy on a board full of weirdos?
…We regret to inform the citizens of the United States that the measure to repeal and replace the third amendment to the constitution with “Hi, Opal” was killed by the state of Utah.
::: Future “Doper” State of the Union Address ::
My fellow Americans. We no longer need fear the threats to our nation from our enemies be they foreign or domestic. No longer need we cower in fear of vicious terrorist attacks.
Working in conjunction with the Joint Chiefs of Staff, the Secretary of Defense, the Pentagon, and all our branches of the armed services, we have embarked upon a research project to produce the ultimate weapon. That’s right. 1920’s Style Death Rays™ !!!
When you folks vote for me (and seriously, I am thinkin’ of running for public office someday), there won’t be any corruption involved [sub]but I can get you great deals on land in North Dakota[/sub].
Would I take advice from the Straigt Dope? I would, but you woudn’t know I was President. [sub]I listen to you folks’ voices already, with the position I have[/sub].
I’d never tell. HAH!
Tripler
Besides, when I become Overlord, you wouldn’t have a chance to change things anyway.
If elected, I promise to push for legislation which will enact:
Term limits: 6 yr for President, 3 yr for Congress and Senate
Wage reductions of legislators=median wage
Legislator benefits-restructure to that=Joe Public
Mandatory military service for all upon graduation of high school unless medically deferred=4 year hitch
beyond these, my initiative includes:
NO MORE WEASELING!
Crappy lawsuits, bereft of anything that a sane person would support are dismissed, and attorneys have the same 3 strikes rule as do criminals-file three crappy suits which are dismissed, and you’re disbarred. Along with this thought-if you used it (e.g. tobacco, booze) of your own free will, and you were advised that it had negative issues associated therewith, stop whining when it all catches up to you.
DRUGS ARE LEGAL!
Let law enforcement personnel deal with other crime issues. Pharmaceutical grade products, sold over the counter (as they were less than 100 years ago), taxed as are alcohol and tobacco products, together with the corollary reduction in jail space, and reduced enforcement costs ought to result in a net savings for the government.
