Could we make it illegal to use the word "galpals"?

First ever pit post. Wish me luck, everyone.

Maybe this is too lightweight a topic for the pit, but I’m really sickened by this word. It only shows up on tabloid covers, so I only ever see it when I’m at the grocery store. Is this what is to become of the entire English language? Rendered in pseudo-breezy journalese shorthand? God help us!

You don’t want me to use the word “galpal”? Then who am I supposed to dine at a tony BevHills eatery with?

Babebuds, foxfriends, chickchums…

Boytoy!!!

“Hubby!”

If you want to talk about things that do violence to the language, it might be simpler to just make tabloids illegal.

Or, at least take a hint from the fine grocery store operators, who, taking pity on the parents of toddlers and other rugrat types, make available a checkstand with no candy displayed. People with real minds have to shop for groceries, too, y’know. How about a big sign over checkstand #5? NO TABLOIDS DISPLAYED HERE

It’s “cute,” it’s short, it rhymes. Sorry, but you’re stuck with it.