My response to finding out that my new 65 year old friend has had hundreds of partners since becoming sexually active over 45 years ago would be very different from my reaction to my new 23 year old friend having had hundreds of partners.
I don’t think someone in the throes of accumulating such a long string of partners and I would fall naturally into a friendship. Friendship with me is kind of “come over and watch old movies, or we can play Boggle” and not particularly conducive to getting laid.
I wasn’t thinking of anything confessional. It was more of, say, another acquaintaince of the person’s volunteering information the horndog had previously kept to her or himself.
Nah. They have great stories. I am close friends with gay guys and women who’ve easily had 100+ partners (some in a ‘professional’ context) and, funny anecdotes aside, they’ve developed into pretty boring, baking, TV-watching people. The straight boys… well, I will say that the ones who are still sleeping around a lot don’t make great friends, probably because the effort they put into getting laid eats up a lot of time.
I have a friend who has had many, many sexual partners. It doesn’t bother me. The only thing is, I had to learn never to get attached to any of his dates. He’s been with a few really cool people that I really liked. But then he’ll be on to someone else, and I’ll still be missing so-and-so that we hung out with a few times.
Oh, I wasn’t thinking of anything from my real life when I began the thread. Though there is a real-life intersection, I suppose. One of my best friends from college, I am told, once had a long and searching conversation with her husband about being friends with me when he became aware that, during my asshole period, I had slept with a great number of women.
To my knowledge I haven’t had any friends with a past/present like that, but it certainly wouldn’t put me off anybody whose company I really enjoy if I found out they did.
What’s your answer Skald?
Heck, I guess I must have an undecent (heh) number of friends then because I don’t know someone like that. And the extremely undecent limited numbers of friends I know dont have any friends like that (I am pretty sure my undecent friends would probably clue me on their friends like that…my friends of friends if you will).
Not casting any moral judgements here. Just sayin it either aint THAT common or I live in a vacum, or these folks are keeping rather quite.
Of course I do live in the suburbs and we tend to keep that kind of stuff on the down low…
I’m usually the guy over-sharing my stories & experience. I know some of my friends are uncomfortable hearing some of them. My past has definitely lost me some potential relationships as well, but I’d rather be up front with someone than have it it come out later.
Most of the folks I know are recovering addicts. Most of us have a pretty spotty sexual history when we were out there, from abuse and rape as children to promiscuity and prostiution as adults. I have one friend (clean about 9 months) currently trying to nail every woman in Los Angels County (with astonishing success).
I think hundreds of partners is probably an exageration, maybe not. I have known some freinds in the <100 category. Sorry souls who eventually corrected themselves and liked their life more after. Or just got tired. This has to fall into the category of some kind of addiction.
I have no problem with friendship with such person, but long term relationship, nope. Not even if I was ‘the most interesting man in the world’. Which I am not. At least not for many years.
In theory, I have no problem with it, although I suspect that someone who’s slept with that many people probably has a different set of activities and priorities than me. I doubt anyone sleeps with 100+ people without it being something they’re fairly committed to, both mentally and in terms of time investment. But if it’s just a hobby or whatever, and we can still play boardgames and talk about other stuff, sure.
If it was a wild-and-reckless-youth kind of situation, and not something they’re doing currently, then it’s even less of an issue, though in my mid-twenties I don’t really know people old enough for that.
Sure, why not? I’m sure it would make for a number of interesting stories, though I’d probably make a mental note not to get romantically/sexually involved with them. If I liked the person, I wouldn’t just want to be another notch on what I’m sure is a well-worn bedpost.
Sure, I’d say most of my gay friends are well over 100. I’ve always estimated my count as about 1000 from my first time at age 17 to the present at 40. Most gay males have a lot of sex partners and there is no sexual abuse/dead mothers or any other issues. Straight people just don’t have the same type of resources that gay men do. You don’t have bathhouses or bookstores. You don’t have Manhunt or Adam4adam. Most of the Women seeking men ads on craigslist are from scammers who try to get you to sign up on some porn site. Most of the Men seeking men ads are from your neighbor down the street who is looking for some fun that morning.
And as we all know, people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw parties!
To the OP, I’ve had several friends, both male and female, who’ve had hundreds of sexual partners. It hasn’t affected our friendship in the least. I would have something of an aversion to dating a woman with that kind of history though. Each woman I’ve known who fits this description was fun to know but impossible in relationships.
