Could you pass the Irish citizenship test (that I just made up)?

In My Humble Opinion
21

I can’t tell you much about that, but I can tell you that a drunken rendition of The Flower of Scotland at One O’clock in the morning in the Schwabing District of Vienna does get the song leader arrested. I can also tell you that an Austrian drunk tank is no prize.

For some reason I thought that the National Anthem was either The Rising of the Moon or Johnson’s Motor Car, and failing that The Foggy, Foggy Dew.

22

Well speaking as a Fecking Brit I had absoloutley NO idea that there was any dislike of us by the Irish,I can only say that I am dumbfounded!!!
But I have drunk in many hard core nationalist bars in Derry,Belfast,Dundalk and other areas(quite a few of them legal!) and I do know all the words to many Republican songs plus I’ve attended Gaelic football matches in Cross so can I count myself as an honorary Irishman?

You’re going to say no aren’t you…sniff.

23

Ah sure why not.

24
  1. How many counties are there in Ireland?

a) 26 (The Republic of Ireland)
b) 32 (The Island of Ireland)

You learn how to be diplomatic about such things :wink:

  1. What is your favourite drink?

c) the next one, the one after that usually has me asleep.

  1. What type of animal is Dustin?

c) a turkey

  1. What planet are Zig and Zag from?

d) Zog. A guess, I grew up with Ian Dempsey on the box (when there was nothing on the BBC or ITV)

  1. As an Irish citizen, who do you hate more?

a) the English if I live south of the border.
b) the Brits if I live north of the border.
YMMV (km south, miles north) but it’s what I’ve noticed.

  1. What is the primary requirement for elligibility to join the Irish national soccer squad?

a) Irish citizenship

  1. Who is the current ruler of Ireland?

b) Biffo Cowen

  1. Bono is?

b) a small prick with a big heart

  1. What is the greatest sport in existence?

a) gaelic football
No hurling? I never played it but it always seemed so much more graceful than gaelic.

  1. What is the national anthem of Ireland?

a) Amhrán na bhFiann

25

Let’s see how I’d do. Without Googling, and answering to get the desired results as opposed to stating my personal tastes/opinions:

  1. How many counties are there in Ireland?

a) 26

  1. What is your favourite drink?

d) the one after that (I do like Guinness, though, so it’ll likely be my first beverage order if I ever make it to Ireland)

  1. What type of animal is Dustin?

c) a turkey
4. What planet are Zig and Zag from?

b) Mars

  1. As an Irish citizen, who do you hate more?

d) all of the above

  1. What is the primary requirement for elligibility to join the Irish national soccer squad?

c) an English accent and an Irish granny

  1. Who is the current ruler of Ireland?

a) Bertie Ahern

  1. Bono is?

b) a small prick with a big heart

  1. What is the greatest sport in existence?

a) gaelic football

  1. What is the national anthem of Ireland?

a) Amhrán na bhFiann

So how did I do?

26

I see I got 60%. I would have picked hurling had it been listed among the sports, though.

Cows are by definition female, but “chicken” can refer to either the male (cock/rooster) or female (hen) of the species Gallus gallus.

27

Wait now, it could be a trick. Make him sing…Four Green Fields.

28

God I hate that song, so very very much.

29

Fine, be that way then. Make him sing Johnson’s Motor Car. :smiley:

30

Seriously, it’s a terrible song. Terreeblay!