It got bad when my relationship began to falter. Ex is Vietnamese, and her English is excellent but not perfectly fluent. That distinction never caused any trouble when we were happy, but in the spur of the moment flash of anger, neither of us could employ a subtle English put-down, so it was lots of:
FUCK YOU!
FUCK YOU TOO!
PRICK!
BITCH!
Etc.
For my next missus, I want a fluent speaker, so we can divorce with style and dry wit! 
Oh, I’ve called Mr. Pundit a nasty name every now and then, but I can say with all sincerity that each and every time, the moniker was richly deserved.
I’ll be married 18 years next month, FWIW.
Never. It’s never OK, at least when it’s said with intent.
You just don’t attack someone you love.
There was name calling in my first marriage, and that marriage is over now, mostly because I didn’t want my girls to grow up thinking it was acceptable to be treated that way.
Arguing will only damage a relationship if people shout epithets at each other. It isn’t important what you think your SO is, rather what they do.
Yes, we have called each other names. He’s a screamer and let’s it out then is ok, and I let things build until I go ballistic and it LASTS.
We are very different people, who sometimes call each other names. And we love each other very, very much. We have our style, other people have theirs - this is working for us, apparently. 11 years with him this summer.
My wife and I have played that game (usually without the happy ending though, I need to work on that…) but the point was to make the other one laugh. Whoever laughed or couldn’t come up with another name lost. We have never called each other names during arguments or even told each other to shut up.
My spouse called me a name once during a fight in our first few months of marriage. I made a point of letting him know that I don’t find name calling acceptable. I will not do it to him, and I will not put up with it directed at me. He hasn’t done it since, and I’ve held up my end of the bargain.
Lest it sound like he’s henpecked, we were still in the newlywed stage of mutually laying down the groundrules. We had never fought prior to being married (that I can recall).
There are unwritten rules for fighting that I’ve picked up over the years. No name calling. Stick to the subject at hand. Don’t belittle the other person. Try not to generalize, but be specific with your complaint(s). No low blows. Why are there rules? Because hopefully when the argument is over, you’ll still be married to and in love with this person. The purpose of the argument is to work out differences. This is more likely to happen if you stick to the rules. Breaking them just hurts the other person and doesn’t solve anything, and the hurt can and likely will linger long after whatever you’re fighting over is a non-issue.
You just have to be more creative. 
I should point out that this generally starts out as a argument/fight for real, we just mellow out after a while…everybody is different.
Exactamundo.
I’m trying to picture my husband yelling “You bitch!” at me in anger, and even the thought of it bothers me.
I was reading a study a little while ago that said that acting out in anger in any way doesn’t actually work to release the anger; if you yell or throw things or pound pillows, you’re still angry afterwards. If you just work through your anger and calm yourself down, that is the most effective way to deal with anger.
I think if it comes down to a shouting match, somebody needs to get more mature and bring up the issue BEFORE it becomes a shouting match. If you get to angry name-calling like that, somebody needs to grow up or get out.
In my most mature relationship, we once had a screaming match, but she provoked it on purpose to prove a point, since I was really the one being immature, after that I grew up a bit and though we had disagreements we never actually fought again.
No way, no how.
When I and the Lovely and Talented Mrs. Shodan get into it, I want GD (or at least IMHO). If it starts becoming the Pit, we are in bad trouble.
We are coming up on twenty-five years.
Regards,
Shodan
Calling someone a name indicates a desire to hurt their feelings. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who wanted to cause me emotional pain just because they were angry.
I once told my husband to stop being an asshole. We weren’t having a fight, he was just being an asshole and I was just cranky enough to point it out.
It sure pissed him off - he didn’t speak to me for about 6 months.
I still feel really bad about it - I pretty much agree with most of the other responses that it’s not fighting fair. I’ve resolved to keep my opinions of his character and behavior to myself or at least not share them with him, particularly not in anger.
Not acceptable, and the reasons why are summed up in this excerpt from Blink wherein Malcolm Gladwell talks about John Gottman’s research into marriage:
Obviously, if you’ve got a relationship in which namecalling doesn’t somehow reflect contempt, that could be a different story. But I’ve never called my wife a bitch, and don’t see starting anytime soon; the same is true in the other direction, so far as I know.
Dr. Woo, six months! What an asshole.
Seriously, I think namecalling is immature and certainly would be damaging over the long haul, but you have to cut people some slack for an occasional moment of temper. What would he do about something of real consequence? And how did you put up with that for six months?
I’m hoping you are exaggerating here. Because calling someone an asshole is insensitive but not speaking to your own spouse for six months because of it is way over the top, not to mention passive-aggressive and mean.
18 years, here…
I told her to “go to hell” once, when I was pretty seriously screwed up with depression. I will never do that again. We also follow the rule I grew up with of never using the phrase “shut up”.
I DO, however, lovingly call her a bitch when she beats my best score at Minesweeper!