In a half hour I go to court to try to get permanent custody of my niece. I am very nervous about this. I’m not sure if my sister will show up or not. They did try to send her a notice as well as the bio-dad.
I hope everything runs smoothly and that if my sister does show up that I can be strong and keep a grip on my emotions. At least until I get out of the court house.
good luck. please post an update
Good luck. Sending you strength. 
Good luck to you. Lots of love sent your way. I hope everything works out for you.
Good luck!
Why bother keeping your strength?
If the kid is there, it will probably do the kid good to see someone lose their crap about them but in a GOOD way.
If it’s just the court folk. It will probably do them good to see someone lose their crap about a kid, but in a GOOD way.
Fortunately, I’m not that familiar with those situations, but when I have been exposed to them, it seems that the ONLY reason people can do that stuff without killing themselves is because there are people out there that give a crap.
Cry like a baby, you might just make their day. Show your emotions.
Best wishes for you both!
Good wishes and good luck!
Good luck. You’re doing a great thing.
Good luck!! I hope everything goes smooth.
My sister didn’t show up for court this morning. Not that I really thought she would but there was still that slim chance.
Heck her lawyer even phoned it in on a cell phone through the child advocate person.
Everybody seemed confused and nobody had a real clue.
So we go back again on the 10th of October for an adjudent meeting. (I’ll have to look that up)
I guess even though they tried to contact my sister and the bio dad and there was no connection made they are trying one more time. WTF. How many chances does a person get?
I’m not sure what happens now. They are serving the papers this time instead of just mailing them. Does that mean if they don’t get ahold of my sister before the 10th it’s going to drag on even longer until they find her and pry her out of whatever crack house they find her in?
At least now I have paperwork saying that there is a court action in process so if my sister does decide to show up she can’t take my niece. All I had before was a piece of paper signed by my sister and I in front of a notary saying that she was giving me care and custody of my niece until she was clean and could sufficiently take care of her child.
Thank you for the good thoughts everyone sent my way. And yes I did show a bit of anger and frustration at my sister and the situation. I think I’m cried out for a while but I’m sure there will be more tears to come.
A lot of hurry up and wait, huh?
Let’s see, your sister has a representative. The bio-dad has a representative. Who’s your representative and your niece’s? Does she have a guardian ad litem, someone who can stand up and say, “Your Honor, we need a decision on this, now. This back and forth and delay is not good for KricketNiece.”
How hard is it to say, “Custody awarded to Kricket for the next six months. Bio-lawyers, you have until then to locate the bio-mom and dad. Until then, she’s Kricket’s.”
How did this situation come about? (If you don’t feel like re-explaining, is there maybe another thread where it’s covered in detail?)
I took legal guardianship of my youngest brother when he was 14 and I was 25. It was quite the experience - and that was with the full consent of everyone involved. I hope things go smoothly for you.
:eek: Holy fucking hell. That’s amazing. You’re great for taking that on, Kricket.
Kricket, I’ve been watching my former housemate dance through the family court mess for years, now.
The good news is that everyone you’re dealing with honestly would prefer to do what will be best for your niece.
The bad news is that there will be no concensus on that. Absent having CPS actively advocating against the birth parent, the family courts seem to be willing to bend over backwards to avoid negating a parent’s rights. In the abstract I don’t think they’re even wrong to do that - but in the concrete it’s been Hell for the The Monster.
Don’t expect anything to go quickly, and don’t hide things from your niece. IIRC she’s old enough that her wishes may be of interest to the court. If that’s the case, see if she’s willing to explain what she wants.
Other than that, all I can say to you is to offer my support again, and my admiration. Hang in there. {{{Kricket & niece}}}
A good friend of mine just finalized the adoption of her niece (now her daughter) who came to live with them when she was 3. Now she is 7. It was a long frustrating process, but in the end they were allowed to adopt (after having permanent custody) and they have a beautiful family.
Keep the faith- things do work out right.
Thank you Miller for posting the link for me. Most days I have no idea where my head is and those are good days.
There is a guardian ad litem for the youngest daughter and she is now going to help me with the older daughter. We did discuss having my niece talk to the judge when and if the time comes.
I have been pretty straight-forward with my niece about the things going on. I figure she’s been through a whole heck of a lot and doesn’t need any more suprises. She’s sadly more adult than she should be. For as long as she is here I want her to be able to be a child for a while.
The paperwork does say uncontested adjudication and that we need to come back in october. That looks decently promising. Wasn’t there a poster here a few years back that was going to school for helping children legally? DrainBead maybe?
Right now I mainly want the paperwork figured out so that I have an easier time with the school system and then we can get her on our own insurance as a dependent and so that we have a leg to stand on if she comes knocking on the door for her daughter she can’t remove her.
She did threaten me with that the last time I spoke with her. Said she would have DHS crawling through my house to take my niece away. She didn’t care that it could end up in an outside of the family situation she just didn’t want her with me because I keep asking her to pee in a cup and go to meetings and just get help in general.
She thinks it would probably go easier if someone outside of the family has her daughter. I told her to do what she felt she must but just remember these foster families deal with garbage like this everyday and they have no emotional ties to any of this and will have no issues saying NO and stop calling or calling the police.
She thinks I’m keeping her from her daughter and I’m not. If she would just come on the days she says she is going to and calls at a decent hour to talk to her daughter. And right now they are supervised visits and a social worker has to be there. My sister believes that what the state is doing is illegal and that she doesn’t have to jump through their hoops.
Yeah, at this time you do sister. Now you do have to follow the rules and jump through so many hoops. And sadly this is going to be a long process.
Good luck, Kricket. If you haven’t checked it out already, you might want to look into Al-anon, to learn how to live without getting drawn into the insanity of having an active addict/alcoholic as a family member.
Kricket, you might also want to check into becoming a foster parent and have your niece in your home as a “relative placement”. She might be eligible for more “assistance” as far as counseling goes and she would be on medicaid for her insurance. You would also get help with afterschool daycare programs as long as you work full time.
It would be worth checking into.