A lot of people ask this question, but if you think about it, it has to be that way. Otherwise, it’d be impossible to prosecute a murder case.
Probably. This has happened with female friends of mine whose male partners were arrrested for domestic abuse.
IANAL but I was a juror in a court case where this happened. It wasn’t a big deal. A prosecution witness was very clearly trying to help the defense because she had overlapping interests. The DA was getting aggressive with questioning her, so defense asked the judge to declare hostile witness rules.
You should get legal counsel, but I think they will point out that many domestics get dismissed for lack of evidence. Like your situation, the prosecution’s witness flips and doesn’t want to testify, there isn’t other physical evidence, so it gets dismissed. But they can’t simply drop charges, so I would be surprised if there’s any way to simply skip the proceedings.
This. There are a limited number of reasons why she might have called 911
- Someone needed medical treatment or at least she thought that was the case - possible, but that doesn’t seem consistent with your minor, non-bleeding scratches.
- She wanted the police to respond because she was afraid she would continue to be violent toward you if they didn’t. Unlikely, but a red flag if true.
3)She wanted you to be arrested or at least inconvenienced simply because she was angry and was using the 911 call to do so. Very possible- and giant red flag.
Think back- you say drugs and alcohol weren’t involved and I can understand your memory of some things being foggy but you should be able to remember the gist of she said on the 911 call and what the cops said when they arrived.
I was upstairs and did not hear her make the call. (she was downstairs) Next thing I know the cops arrive. The cops asked me what happened and I told them . She told them as well, she was outside when they talked to her.
If she threw the phone first and the rest followed, yes she started it.
Nope. I say something like this would be worse.
What you should ask your therapist, and work with your therapist to resolve (in my opinion) is why you are so hellbent in trying to either absolve your abuser of her responsibility or to take responsibility for someone else’s violent/abusive action. Again, I realize this is on the mild end of the spectrum but, you know what? Most of the time when it winds up on the other end it started on the mild end.
Assuming you’re both adults no one should be throwing objects at the other in anger. Assuming you’re both adults you both need to face your own consequences for your own actions.
So in other words, she started the altercation, called 911 after it was over, didn’t tell you why and apparently didn’t even tell you she called? Big giant red flags. Think about the reasons for calling 911 in my prior post- which do you think it was?
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And this is the reason that police started arresting all instances of domestic violence instead of trying to decide which ones were bad enough to “count”. One of my son’s friends had a wife who had anger issues. Her husband considered her to be abusive, but not violent, and the police were never called in. What worried him was that she got unreasonable when it happened. He finally decided to leave when she had an anger fit while he was driving on the freeway and she grabbed the steering wheel and jerked on it because he wasn’t paying her the attention she thought she deserved. If he hadn’t had a good grip, they’d have gone into a retaining wall at freeway speeds.
If she had shown awareness afterwards that she had been wrong, he might have stayed to try working things out. But she didn’t and he started seeing a future that he just couldn’t handle.
In a practical sense, you have the power to say anything you need to say, whether or not it’s true, when called to the stand in court. I’m not suggesting you commit perjury - just pointing out that if it even came to a trial, your girlfriend need not ever say anything as she would be advised to take the fifth. If you are forced to testify, you have the power to say the scratches were accidental and not an assault. As there is no one else that was ever in that room, that would be the end of the state’s assault case.
Also, while you have been instructed not to contact her, you can contact her attorney, and rehearse what you need to say in court to make this case disappear.
Furthermore, you wouldn’t have to lie. Simply saying that you do not recall the altercation clearly, and the scratches could easily be accidental, is plenty to establish reasonable doubt.
Also, the way the process works, you can give a recorded statement to her attorney. Her attorney can then present that to the DA. The DA is going to sum up the case - now knowing what you are going to say if it came to testimony in court - and would most likely drop the case long before trial. The general rule for attorneys is that they never ask a witness a question they don’t already know the answer to. If the DA knows you’re going to say you don’t recall clearly, and it was probably an accident, then the DA will know they have to try to win the case with your damning testimony. Since the DA probably cannot win in that scenario, the case would be dropped.
Court can tell me who her lawyer is I assume?
Probably. Also you aren’t under any restrictions - you can contact her and tell her to tell her attorney to contact you. She might not be able to reply without falling afoul of the bail conditions but her attorney isn’t bound by this and has the power to contact witnesses such as yourself.
I’m not one to ever tell anyone that they don’t need a lawyer, but you don’t need a fucking lawyer. She needs a lawyer. A lawyer for you will be a waste of money but go ahead and waste it if you want. A lawyer is your advocate not hers. You are not charged she is. You can go in and tell the prosecutor that you don’t want the case to go forward. Or you can pay someone to go in and tell the prosecutor you don’t want the case to go forward. The prosecutor’s decision will be the same.
In my court what happens 99.87% of the time when the victim doesn’t want the case prosecuted they will do a conditional discharge. If there is no further acts of domestic violence in 90 days or 6 months or whatever then the charges are dropped. Maybe with some mandatory anger management. It generally does not end badly for anyone as long as there were only minor injuries and no criminal history.
Beyond that my rule of thumb is once the cops are called the relationship is over. Doubtful you’ll listen to that.
I can second this. It could be a lot worse. All she had to do was say you sexually assaulted her and you’d be the one in jail. There does not need to be any evidence other than her statement for you to be imprisoned for this. Sound far fetched?
Then why did she call the cops if her intention was not to have them bring harm to you? You need to find another girlfriend.
Based on what the OP has posted in this thread, this is very bad advice.
Bijou Drains, I’m sorry you’re going through this.
Domestic violence cases are very hard for just this reason. The parties normally have a strong emotional bond to each other. That doesn’t suddenly end because one has been arrested.
In fact, as Bijou Drains’s posts make clear, he has been emotionally upset, to put it mildly, to see his girl friend led away in handcuffs. It’s the normal instinct to want to help one’s significant other.
Telling him to step back and just let it play out without him goes against that deep-rooted instinct to help the loved one. It may be good advice, but it’s very hard to do.
Also, how is it good advice? Our “justice” system is not based on any kind of redemption. She won’t get therapy and do some community service and have to say she’s sorry and get forgiven by society. Any conviction at all, felony or misdemeanor, will prevent her from many forms of gainful employment for the rest of her life. The U.S. has a “revenge based” (retributive instead of restorative) justice system, similar to other theocracies like Saudi Arabia.
If the OP thinks a conviction is not warranted in this scenario (even if she did technically assault him it was probably an accident in the heat of passion), it probably isn’t “justice” for it to happen. If he just “lets it play out”, that will be the outcome.
around 10 years ago she was arrested at a political protest and did community service and that is off her record. Now that was not considered assault but it was also a misdemeanor. It was a case where people were told to leave the protest site and most did but she stayed and was arrested.
This is a dumb take. If he wants advice on how to act in certain legal proceedings, then he needs a lawyer, not some internet rando’s opinion. Isn’t it against board rules for people to say stuff like this?
Nope. It’s not against the rules.
It used to be that we did not allow legal advice here. I am assuming this was because the SDMB did not want to be on the hook legally for any legal advice given in the forums.
Quite a while ago, we changed this rule. You are now free to give any legal advice you would like to give, as long as it is in the IMHO forum. By placing it in the IMHO forum, that emphasizes that anything posted is just the opinions of some online internet folks, and is not the equivalent of professional legal advice.
Also important to note in this case that Loach is posting as a regular user (there is nothing identifying the post as moderation), and is not representing the SDMB in a legal capacity. This is Loach’s opinion, and he is free to post it, just as anyone else is free to post their legal opinions.
Anyone can post their opinions on legal matters. But only in the IMHO forum.