The calling 911 while you were not around is yet another Big Red Flag.
Do you know what she told them? Because she may well have told them that YOU assaulted HER and (in her anger) wanted them to arrest you.
If that is the case, this will ABSOLUTELY happen again and maybe next time, YOU are the one arrested and charged.
If you had an attorney, they would likely ask this question in court.
You threw her down on the bed? Did she have reason to call the cops on you?
People who know better than I do are saying you don’t need a lawyer. I just don’t agree with that advice. It seems to me that you are in danger of incriminating yourself on the stand if you answer honestly and completely. I’m no lawyer, and my advice is worth what you’ll pay for it, but I would advise you to consult one.
Her lawyer’s job is to get her off on the charges, so s/he will likely advise you to get up there and tell the story of how you pushed her and etc. He’ll have you confessing to get her off, not realizing that the bailiff will then be escorting you over to the county jail.
If that’s not really a concern then I would love for somebody to explain to me why it isn’t. I just don’t get this advice at all.
Re: testifying, that is your job as a citizen. You get up on the stand, and you answer the questions honestly. It is not for you to decide what penalty she deserves, so stop trying. The only way you should not answer a question with full honesty is if it would incriminate you to do so. In that case, you should plead the fifth. (Again, I’m not a lawyer, I’m just telling you what seems obvious from where I stand.)
As for the relationship, either you haven’t told us the whole truth about your behavior, or her calling the police was truly vicious. I would strongly recommend that you stay away from this woman permanently. Healthy relationships do not involve police intervention.
Because Bijou Drains, like pretty much the victim in any alleged crime, is out of the picture at this point. He has no standing in this court matter, and as he has no standing, he doesn’t need a lawyer. Or, to put it differently, this is not the case of Bijou Drains v. Girlfriend; rather, it is the case of The People of the State v. Girlfriend. The People of the State have a lawyer: the Prosecutor. Girlfriend should have a lawyer: the Defense. The People and Girlfriend, as named parties to the case, have standing.
But Bijou Drains is not a named party. If he engages a lawyer, that lawyer will not be allowed to appear, speak, question, or do anything else in the courtroom. The best that lawyer could do, would be to coach Bijou Drains on how to act on the witness stand (if the matter goes to trial, and we have no assurance that it will), and/or perhaps negotiate with the state prosecutor to drop or reduce the charges. That’s a lot of money spent, when the matter might be resolved by Bijou Drains simply saying to the prosecutor in an interview, “Listen, this is all a misunderstanding; let’s just drop things, okay?”
At any rate, we might be getting ahead of ourselves, worrying about trials and witness appearances. We don’t know what Girlfriend has done yet (waiting for a first court appearance? pleaded guilty? pleaded not guilty? asked for an adjournment pending retention of private counsel? asked for a public defender? etc.), and until we know the answer(s), we won’t even know if there’s going to be a trial. As I say to my clients, law is a little bit like a game of chess–we can think ahead and kinda sorta plan, but we won’t know what to do for sure until we see what our opponent’s last move definitely was.
OP: You are not on trial so instead of getting your own lawyer maybe you could consult with her lawyer (without your GF present) about the best way you can help her avoid a conviction and other no-fun stuff.
I’m not sure if that’s allowed or if it’s considered collusion or something but it seems GF’s attorney could answer questions about subpoenas and your proper role in her case.
I just want the lawyer to give me advice on how to talk to the DA. Hopefully the lawyer can give me some things to mention beyond just “please drop the charges”
You need a lawyer who will advise you how to keep YOURSELF from being charged with a crime.
This thread is a circus of bad advice. Get your advice from a lawyer engaged to represent your interests, not your girlfriend’s interests, and other than that stop listening to people in this thread.
Question for the lawyers and other courtroom folk: Does a witness have the right to have a lawyer present in the courtroom, and can that lawyer address the judge if he has an issue with a question to the witness? I don’t want to focus on Bijou Drains situation, but suppose someone was a participant in a bar fight involving multiple people where one person was stabbed. I can imagine someone being willing to testify that he saw someone stabbing someone else, but being reluctant to admit that he was drunk and punching people at the time. Would that person be allowed to have a lawyer present while he was testifying to advise him if he was at risk of self-incrimination?
None of us were there, none of us know what really happened, none of us know why she called 911, and none of us know what your gf is capable of doing or not doing. So don’t let any advice from this thread override what your head (not heart) is telling you to do. You have more insight into the truth than a bunch of strangers do.
Beyond saying this, just want to say sorry about your troubles. Soon this will be just a grainy memory. Life will go on.
Called a lawyer to get a name of a criminal lawyer. The receptionist has such a southern accent I could barely make out what she was saying. 
And I have lived in NC for 50 years.
A rando who has been through or seen hundreds of such cases over the years but whatever.
If you don’t want to hear the opinions of people with experience don’t post in a forum that asks for opinions. Maybe I’m full of shit and really work in a 7-11 it’s up to the OP to decide.
This isn’t Perry Mason or Matlock. They are not looking to find the real killer. It’s a Simple Assault case.
If a family member came to me with this scenario and assuming all the facts have been given correctly this is the advice I would give. Go to the court date or contact the prosecutor beforehand and request for a meeting. He represents the state but he is also supposed to advocate for the victim. Tell him you don’t want the prosecution to go forward. It all depends on the prosecutor and the jurisdiction but they often will not want to waste time on a minor case with an uncooperative victim. However often they will want to not simply drop it. They may have a procedure in which they want the dismissal to be conditional. Usually no further acts of domestic violence for a certain period of time. Bring a lawyer or not. It’s my experience that you will get the same answer either way. In more than 20 years I’ve never seen a victim bring or need a lawyer but if you want to go for it. If you don’t bring a lawyer and you don’t like what the prosecutor says you can always tell him you want to consult with an attorney before proceeding.
It feels like this is the worst thing ever and for you it may be. For the prosecutor it’s his job. The prosecutor probably has 10 of these files sitting on his desk. 8 of them have victims that don’t want to go forward with prosecution. You will find there is going to already be a procedure in place that the prosecutor will want to follow to bring it to a quick conclusion so he can deal with the next 10 that will come in. He will let you know before anyone is on the stand.
The charges were brought by the State. This isn’t a private matter between you and your girlfriend. Your girlfriend has been determined by the State to be someone that needs to learn to control her behavior. She may do this same thing to someone else, not just you.
I highly doubt that having your therapist make such request would have any bearing on how this case plays out.
Also, I’m not sure I would want to be in a relationship with anyone that would throw something at me. That’s just not how you handle problems.
A witness can certainly have a lawyer in the courtroom. That lawyer probably can’t address the judge during trial. (depends on the judge, but most would have no patience for it, and it certainly shouldn’t happen in front of the jury)
Usually, when invoking the fifth, a witness will do it for all questions about the event, not just the questions that were getting close to risking self-incrimination. You don’t need, and can’t have, a lawyer help you on a question by question basis.
A counterpoint to this is that when someone hires an attorney, they’re not just hiring someone who will help them with a court trial, they’re hiring someone who knows how the legal system works. My two-cents advice to Bijou Drains is “You’re no longer involved in this case. Keep your head down and remain uninvolved until someone makes you a part of it. Then, think about hiring a lawyer.” However, if he wants to have input into the legal system, then it’s probably worth hiring an expert to guide him through that system.
That’s what I was pondering. She set you(OP) up to go to jail and it backfired. She set you up. To send you to JAIL. And you’re feeling sorry for her? I don’t think she’d show you that kind of mercy, she wanted to fuck you up. Get your heart out of this situation and use your head–you have an enemy who has tried to send you to jail. You think it’s going to be all puppy dogs and kittens when this is over? She’ll do it again, or worse.
The court told me today that they have a program of classes that can be completed to get the charges dismissed. That is the most likely path the case will follow since this is first offense.
Is this a common manner in which your GF expresses her feelings? How often does she shift to physical confrontation?
I’d like to go off-track and recommend the OP get some counseling on codependence. From his reactions I’m worried he may have issues beyond his girlfriend being arrested.
I came here for legal advice. The other advice I am ignoring, that is what therapy is for which I am starting up again.