A few months ago (like 5 or so) my coworker left for better and higher paying pastures.
For the past few months there’s been a coworker here in the lab.
And he’s really pissing me off.
I swear to fucking god, the next time that asshole opens his mouth I’m going to lock him in with the monkeys.
Over the last few months I’ve learned that even as a corpse he’s such a worthless piece of humanity you wouldn’t be able to be a necrophiliac who hasn’t had sex in 45 years to squick his corpse!
Every single fucking thing he does pisses the hell out of me.
Since he’s been here he keeps asking, “Why isn’t this like the last place I worked? We should do this, because it’s what we did in the last place I worked!”
Hey, scrotal tumor, THIS ISN"T YOUR LAST JOB! We’ve already done most of your suggestions and we’re not suffering through that AGAIN just so you can find out what everyone else is doing.
Or my personal favorite, 3 or 4 times a fucking week he tells me how stupid it is that it is for me to try to get a PHD, after all nobody respects you and you don’t get as much money as an MD. And that it’ll take 10 years before I get my own lab, even if I graduate.
Now, I understand this comes from his own personal fustrations with research science. But see, unlike him, I can ADD. I can also use excel to run regressions and process my data. Both skills have escaped him in the 4 months I’ve been training him.
He doesn’t realized that just because his GRE scores couldn’t get him into the Ivory Coast’s School of Advanced Cosmology doesn’t mean that mine are that better.
I could laugh at his dreams and goals. But that would be rude. Because it’s what he wants to do, and it’s not my place to point out that his chances of getting into the program he wants will be much better the second he learns what a decimal place is or how to ROUND correctly.
Yes folks. We have a scientist who will take a number like 3.69 and round it to 3.6
So hey FUCK YOU. Don’t judge how well I’ll do in the career I want when you hate this career and are INCOMPETENT. Combine the two and see how far you get!
Next, I’d like to adress his racism and bigotry.
This would be a long long topic except that he’s in the lab right now and I don’t know how long I have left to type.
Here’s a good example. We went to a product show, they had free pizza. We were there as they were closing up and they had a lot of extra pizza. So we snagged half a pizza nobody cared. We went back to the break room had a few slices and went back to work. But he saw one of the people in the department put a pizza box in the fridge with a few slices in it.
So he then asked me, is she vietanese (sp?)?
And goes on to imply that what she did was pathetic and amusing.
This from a man who grabbed half a pizza and walked out the door with it…
It gets worse from here.
Which is quite amusing considering he’s a recent immigrant and bitterly complains about how everyone is taking advantage of him.
Trust me I’ve had to listen to him bitch about the lazy ‘mexicans’ who do nothing but live on welfare until it runs out then they commit a crime and get to go to a nice clean comfortable jail while he pays for it all.
He also complains how everyone is taking advantage of him. Always ripping him off.
A point in case is this:
He recently tried to upgrade his computer from Win 95 to Win XP.
He did it, but didn’t understand the directions so he installed XP as a second OS and has to choose during bootup which one to use.
This was apparently too difficult for him, so he tried to fix it.
I suggested to call MS tech support.
Or read the goddamn manual.
Well hedoesn’t know how to fix it he doens’t like it and won’t pay 50$ for best buy to fix it for him.
So he talked our IS (compuer guys) department to fix it for him, free of charge.
Now by and large 80% of the people here are morons. IS is not different.
But I figured, I may get some amusement out of watching this.
So IS goes to work, one guy was on vacation so the repairs get delayed and he whines about that for a week.
Then the guy gets back and it turns out there are conflicts and problems…
Then it gets fixed, he gets a new modem installed and the OS is up and running but the monitor isn’t working right.
So the guy gets a new mother board and case rebuilds his computer and reinstalls everything.
And gives him a final bill.
The final bill is pretty close to what I’d expect the components would cost. But my coworker keeps saying how badly this guy ripped him off.
And ya know what?
IF YOU HADN"T PIRATED THAT COPY OF WINDOWS XP NONEO THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED YOU CHEAP PIGFUCKER!
I don’t think I want to go into the times he admitted child abuse… nor other things he does that makes me wonder about spouse abuse or anything like that.
