The Sharpener - Pencils within a ten-foot radius never lose their pointiness.
Carpentia - Amy Wynn from Trading Spaces, after exposure to a radioactive subfloor, gains the ability to measure things precisely, with her mind!
The Folder - Able to fold flat things in half. Not, as he likes to remind people, a handy way of keeping your papers together.
The Fizzler - Can make soda go flat, instantly… with his mind!
[Shameless plug]
I actually did a comic on this once:
http://urcult.keenspace.com/d/20021018.html
[/shameless plug]
The Widowmaker - unwittingly causes harmless and happily-married family men to suddenly die.
The incredible hulk - people don’t like him when he gets really angry.
LactHarm - Possesses the ability to make other people lactose intolerant.
Reversi - Any toast that he drops always lands butter side up. The universe counteracts this contradiction of one of its most basic laws by causing any cats in his presence to land on their heads.
The Rewinder - Can rewind videotapes . . . with his mind!
The Sampler - Mentally records the words of others and then replays to enhance conversations.
Caller ID Dude - Screens his own calls . . . with his mind!
Un-Bouncing Boy – Totally unable to bounce at all, under any circumstances
Can’t-Eat-Matter Lad – completely incapable of ingesting any substance. How he remains alive is a mystery.
That outta outdo the “least powerful” members of the Legion of Super-Heroes!
x
Actually, this might make him quite a bit more powerful than you might expect. Suppose he could teleport a whole bunch of neutrons into the middle of a mass of U-235?
See Robert Heinlein’s short story Operation Nightmare for more details…
Angri-La - Can cause people within a ten-foot radius to become unspeakably angry with her.
Stink Bug - The power to generate disgusting fumes (not incapacitating or anything. Just disgusting).
The Human Mosquito - Able to produce a high pitched whine near your ear that will really annoy you when you’re sleeping.
Java Man – Can discern a brew of coffee by smell alone.
Disease Man - Able to contract any illness at will.
Toe-Broken from Hoboken (“The Toe” for short)- Can fracture any of her own toes by force of will alone!
I can communicate with kitchen appliances:
Can I have some toast please?
Sure. Put something rectangluar in here.
Great. Is it done yet?
No, it’s still white. But hot enough to burn your fingers.
When’ll it be done?
When this timer runs down.
I want it now! Give it back! Stabs with fork.
Die, human! BZZT!
I’ve translated this a bit. (eg. toaster for ‘put something rectangular here’ is ‘have a hole in the top’)
Regular Guy – can cure constipation.
I have that ability. Try to prove me wrong.
I propose a superhero with a capacity to file and collate documents near the speed of light.
These could actually be useful. Yawning in a fight is bad. And it’s not quite soda but if he undissolved oxygen in your blood you’d be dead pretty quick. And the shadow could go round the earth a lot of times in a fast plane and become a giant.
In fact, I’d like to start a thread Superpowers that are cool only when you think about them for a bit
But I like Meta.
Keymaster–can pull his car keys out of his pocket, holding them by the correct key! He also has the ability to pull exact change out of his pockets.
That Persuader is mighty powerful! Made me yawn by just reading his name…
I love this one! You get my vote for Best Silliness.
If anyone has this power, please contact me, IMMEDIATELY!
I work with several of these mutants. Unfortunately, they seem to be able to produce nothing but an irritating whine. 
Captain Tanfastic - has the ability to speed the tanning process in olive-skinned people or instant first degree sunburns in people having that Irish blue-white skin.
Mr Fluffy - has the ability to make kittens playful. So far, he’s successfully managed to keep his mutation a secret.
Bill Gates - has the ability to induce a BSOD on any computer he can touch. Including Macs.
Itchman - able to make others feel the need to scratch
Big Alex - able to bore people with unfunny, irrelavant and often pointless posts. Also able to get bogged down in grammar and confused with American language, so that she says something that is perfectly innocent but is taken another way.
Woman with a magical costume that repels all cat hair.
The Plothole Kid
-can deconstruct movies and television programs at superhuman speed.